.... Snow White and the Seven Short Arrse Squaddies. A long time ago in a far of land there was a wonderful kingdom of Arrsia, it was ruled by the wise King Good CO who was married to a beautiful but evil witch called Queen Sluggy. King Good CO married for love and to give his only daughter, Dolly86, a good motherly role model. Queen Sluggy married for a huge stack of cash, a castle in Kent and as many Jesters as she could abuse. Queen Sluggy had a magic mirror which she would consult on many matter, like who was the fairest in the land...... to which the mirror would always reply "Queen Sluggy is the fairest in the land". As the years went on Queen Sluggy got board of King Good CO's Strictly Missionary bed manor and offed him by getting FatBird to sit on his face in a game of "lets have a three some". Queen Sluggy was now Queen of all of Arrsia and ruled very badly as she was a bird and equal opportunities had not been invented yet. As he years passed the virgin Dolly86 grew into a beautiful young, pert princess with big chebs and a bottom every man wanted to be the first to violate. One day Queen Sluggy asked the Mirror who was going to win the King George V race and who was the fairest in the land. The mirror replied "Norfolk & Chance will win by a nose but Dolly86 is fairest as the beauty stakes goes." Queen sluggy flew into a rage and threw a page boy out of a window, screaming curses upon Dolly86, Queen Sluggy called for her religious adviser, Minister Doughnut. The good Minister had just finished debriefing a nun. The nun was all of a quiver and putting her briefs back on when MDN slapped her naked arrse and said "sorry, must dash, Duty Calls". Queen Sluggy ordered MDN to take her step daughter into the haunted woods and murder her, bury the body. NDM being a pro at these things pointed out that Dolly86 would be missed by every red blooded male in the kingdom. Some sort of cover story would be needed. They decided to say that Princess Dolly had gone on holiday with the McCann's and when she did not return....... well it would not be the first time that family came back short. Under the pretext of taking the young Princess Dolly86 on a Religious Education GCSE field trip to Witches Grove they left for the haunted woods. MDN had a spring in his step as he was looking for ward to having a fresh corpse to grind over the next few months until decomposition made her to mushy to have her dead back door smashed in. As they started to walk through the haunted woods princess Dolly86 told MDN that she was scared or the shadows. MDN muttered some thing about her being a big poof and that he would have to walk back alone!