An Army view of the Royal Navy...


Book Reviewer
We have one for the RAF and it has, on the main, given an interesting insight to how one sees the other.

I am sure there will be plenty of banter, be upset if there was not, but honest thoughts much appreciated.

I'd be interested to hear the pongo's opinion of the Senior Service as well.

I'm sure out of 100,000 pongos, at least 20 of you can type without a headwand and dribbling all over the keyboard :D
Cant read maps for a toffee.
Got some right munters on their ships.
Got a CPO who had a sense of humour failure when asked if HMS Grafton really did have a golden rivet by an AAC Sgt (1997). Funny as fcuk.
Played some good rugby this year but not good enough.
Need to realise what a sonar does in a submarine.
Have been shafted royally by the Govt over their new boats.
Best navy in the world. :wink:
Shouldn't bring Ipods when on patrol.
Having served in both, the army likes to create an ethos of working for the sake of working. But has a great deal of pride in it's itself as a result of its sometimes self-imposed challenges.

The Navy is consumed with self doubt and angst over it's operational commitment. It's desperate for some 'grey' assets to go play in the sand so it can get a chunk of the budget, whilst ignoring the green ones that are already there.

It's losing pride in itself rapidly and blokes are leaving at an alarming rate in my unit, mainly due to undermanning and overcommitment. But there is a real sense of affront that they can't carry out their jobs as professionally as they'd like due to these reasons.

Overall it's tied itself in a 'PC' knot, look at how it had no idea how to deal with the Iranian captives last year.
As an ex stab, I've had limited exposure to the senior service, but here goes:

Historically the best funded and arguably the most critical service for the defence of Britain - we are an island nation, and our worldwide empire was largely founded on maritime trade.

Currently significantly underfunded, making do with much worn-out equipment tht should really be scrapped; ships scrapped or put into extended readiness; operations restricted due to restraints on fuel use. Gambling its future on the new carriers.

Matelots always up for a scrap, but reputation badly damaged by the Iranian affair last year; Admiral Cunningham's famous quote "It takes three years to build a ship, it takes three centuries to build a tradition".

Impression that it is too top heavy with more admirals than ships (is this really true?)
Ive worked with the Navy and made the following observations:

They aren't bad folks, but a little too emotional and sensitive to banter.

They get shafted as much as the army do (leave delayed due to ops).

Scoff is outstanding compared to army scoff and the chefs seem more capable (no insults intended to army sloppos but its true).

They look gay as f**k in summer attire with socks pulled up.

The officers and Senior Ranks get down and dirty along with the junior ranks when it comes to unloading rubbish from the ship. (Impressed to see it and makes a change from the Seniors directing everything from afar). :D
Produced the finest sailors to conquer the globe, Lost most of their ships to other Latin American nations for cash. (See the Falklands war)

Although the key for the Trident launch system, is guarded by a big fella with a club so no chance of misunderstanding over his role.

Nuff said boot last years ipod export to shhhhh.

Although they do have some ally rigs, they are still stuck with females looking lumpy in no 8's.
Worked with the Navy on and Off for a few years, Main points seem to be......

1, Very process orientated, if it wasn't in a BR it didn't exist
2, Jack can be just that, jack if it doesn't suit his purpose.
3, Officer's and Seniors rates will muck in with the lads (their own) to achieve a task
4, They have their own sense of humour and a dialect, which only the Nelson would understand!
5, Senior Naval Officers don't seem to be as **** as their Army counterparts, in fact most I've met are very down to earth!
6, They are happy to loose at Rugby to the Army every year..........NOT! :)
7, They are really into lugging antique cannons around and calling it sport :)
8, They get very unhappy when you refer to their nice new submarines as sewer pipes.
9, They all seem to wear Berets either 9 sizes to big with the flap tucked under their chin(s) or as Landing pads for the Fleet Air Arm.
10, Jack seem to be scruffy (whatever rig he's wearing) in comparison to the average Tom and really doesn't give a s**t about it either.
Worked with them for 3 years. Cracking bunch. Needed Pussers Book of Navy Slang to understand them tho.

Don't really deserve their I-Pod wearing surrender monkeys tag.

Then again....................

Oh, WREN's summer dresses. Grrrrrrrrr

spent a couple of days on one of the ships (HMS Southampton) along time ago

spent 5 days in Gib (on HMS ROOKE) waiting for the ship to arrive from where ever?? OK

5 x days drunk with the Matelots, then went water skiing for 5 days
ship arrives jump on ship think ok a few days to sober up


3 x more days on the ship drunk with more Matelots, then suffered Channel Night

never ever have i been that drunk before and never since

Socially they are animals, but do the job well when called for

Hats off to them

Hospitality fantastic
1957 to 1970 RN. 1970 to 1984 Army.
In the RN on board effectively at work 24/7 for the whole commission 2 years at a stretch/sleeping in a hammock. 24 men in a space not much bigger than a caravan.......
Army when not on active service/ops - 5 day week with a sports afternoon thrown in. Ashore every night and most weekends off. Parachuting/Diving/Skiing/Adventure training etc., and getting paid for it.
Knew which side my bread was buttered but always considered myself a Matelot. It never ceased to amaze me that I was given money for doing things I enjoyed doing.
The RN has had a sea change over the years, when in my day officers in general were standoffish but now seem to have embraced an 'all of one company' ethos. I appreciate that times have changed and I was fortunate to have had the good years. It's a leaner, keener fighting outfit now and I have the utmost respect for those serving today.
The first man as mentions iPods walks the plank, damn yer eyes...what, how many have? Oh, carry on then...

Don't forget those luscious Wrens in the films with Leslie Phillips either!


I mean...chunder, blugh, phloor ugh!
Sorry but Faye Gurney cannot be held as representative of the Navy, or indeed Wrens. Just as I wouldnt judge all pongoes on the actions of Jan the man.

Spent some time on HMS Illustrious. Agree that mateloes are scruffy as. Generally good blokes although they don't do banter too well and can be a bit sensitive ;) But at the end of the day I was made very welcome and remain forever in their debt as they never cashed the cheque I left for my mess bill.
Was stationed in Hong Kong once on a 30 storey "Ship" (HMS Tamar). Found them a great bunch but a little more relaxed, especially in the mess, where they got paid to do Entertainments duties, and thought casual dress meant no shirt !!

I have to report thought that some of the guys on the minesweepers were crackers, and they never lived down the fact that a dog on one of the boats died of syphillis
and remain forever in their debt as they never cashed the cheque I left for my mess bill.
Unwritten rule...guests dont pay!

If however you are of the feathered beret variety you can expect to either wake up in the mess square to see it has been requestioned as the new mess parrot or it has been raped and pillaged all along 2 deck....With the residue kept as a trohpy :D

"k'in ellll!!! I'll be on a charge for this" (dragoon, Gorni vakuv '94)

New Posts

Latest Threads