This may have been done before; if it has then someone will remind me of it, no doubt. My son is now old enough not to hide the fact that he swears from me, and I can get away with the odd bit of choice language back. I was thinking of the number of amusing and inventive swearing I have heard during my time - stuff that is not really offensive, but which could be pretty rude. Stuff that, if you were on the receiving end of it, you would not really mind, despite the words that were being said, and could chuckle at. Examples I've recently used "at" my son: spunk trumpet, cock knocker, shit lips, etc. Anyone got any others that may come in handy?