Amusing observations

Discussion in 'The Lamp and Sandbag II - The Tall Story Strikes B' started by msr, Jul 1, 2004.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. msr

    msr LE

    Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

    Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

    Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

    Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

    Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and put our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

    Only in Britain... do we buy hot dogs in packs of ten and buns in packs of eight.

    Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

    Only in Britain... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

    3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

    142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

    58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

    31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

    19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

    British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.

    101 people since 1999 have had to have broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

    18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

    5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.

    and finally.........

    in 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet!
     

  2. Not chocolate ?? Lordy.....
     
  3. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    and in 2004 i know at less one of the stats to be announced!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  4. I wasn't. I hit it on the bath!!
     
  5. Oh Dale...
    Tut tut tut...
    A likely story...
    Calling Ralph and Hugh and got whacked by the porcelain throne more like!
    8)
     
  6. Was not talking to big white telephone!!!!
     
  7. Shall I ask 'The Watcher'? 8O
    Sorry! Yuck! 8O
     
  8. Sarge, I feel ever so queazy.....