Amusing Epitaphs

#1
I was recently cleaning up and found some pictures of when I visited Tombstone Arizona.

Boot Hill is famous for a few reasons, but one is due to the amusing epitaphs written on some of the tombstones.

Some examples:
Effie Jean Robinson

1897-1922

Come blooming youths, as you pass by ,

And on these lines do cast an eye.

As you are now, so once was I;

As I am now, so must you be;

Prepare for death and follow me.

Which is not funny at all. But underneath, someone had added:

To follow you

I am not content,

How do I know

Which way you went.
Here lies Lester Moore.

Four slugs

From a forty-four.

No Les

No More.

Here lies a man named Zeke.

Second fastest draw in Cripple Creek.

Here lays Butch.

We planted him raw.

He was quick on the trigger

But slow on the draw.


There must be some in the UK. Anyone know of any good ones?
 
#3
One in my local churchyard:

"A man is best known when he is dead."

The most read stone in the yard...!
 
#5
"That's All Folks"

Mel Blanc
 
#6
 
#8
My maternal grandad was a Church Elder and was fond of this sort of thing. On sighting an epitaph which read, "Not dead, just resting", he looked sagely at it for a few seconds and commented, "He's not fooling anyone, you know."
 

Forastero

LE
Moderator
#9
smartascarrots said:
My maternal grandad was a Church Elder and was fond of this sort of thing. On sighting an epitaph which read, "Not dead, just resting", he looked sagely at it for a few seconds and commented, "He's not fooling anyone, you know."
And the rest. That's in one of Spike Milligan's war memoir books!
 
#10
There's one in Aldershot Military Cemetary on the back of a slop jockeys stone that says:

''He was a good cook as good cooks go and as good cooks go he went''

What thats all about I haven't got the foggiest.
 
#11
I recall someone paid for a notice to be printed in The Times Births Marriages and Death section that on his demise read," I've snuffed it!"
 
#13
while not quite an epitaph, the father of a friend of my dad's was a wireless op in Bomber Command in WW2 and one of his Halifax crews gave themselves the motto;

If we die think only this of us;
Some part of Deuschland will be forever dented.

:D
 
#14
jack-daniels said:
There's one in Aldershot Military Cemetary on the back of a slop jockeys stone that says:

''He was a good cook as good cooks go and as good cooks go he went''

What thats all about I haven't got the foggiest.
It's a quote from a book by Saki (H.H. Munro 1870 - 1916), who's own last words would make a fine epitaph:-

"Put out that bloody cigarette!"

Just before being shot by a German sniper on the Somme.
 
#15
Fallschirmmongsturm said:
I recall someone paid for a notice to be printed in The Times Births Marriages and Death section that on his demise read," I've snuffed it!"
In Goa the deaths section of the local paper doesn't say you've died just that you have expired :D
 
#16
brettarider said:
Fallschirmmongsturm said:
I recall someone paid for a notice to be printed in The Times Births Marriages and Death section that on his demise read," I've snuffed it!"
In Goa the deaths section of the local paper doesn't say you've died just that you have expired :D

Hm, so if I cheat death then you can pretty much say that I've "Gone past my expiration date"?
 
#18
Saw this one on the Telegraph site...

Here lies Bill. Aviator, Air Traffic Controller and Writer. Enjoyed almost eveything in life,and tried them all, except homosexuality and Morris dancing
 
#19
Spike Milligan's Epitaph:

Relatives of the former Goon have now decided that it can bear the star's epitaph: "I told you I was ill." ...."Duirt me leat go raibh me breoite", or "I told you I was ill", and the English words "Love, light, peace".
However, the inscription had to be written in Gaelic in order for it to be approved by the Chichester Diocese.

John le Mesurier (Dad's Army) "Conked out"

Dracula:
"Here Lies Count Dracula"
1236
1458
1527
1703
1823
1995.....;-)

Anon:
"Under this sod lies another"

Winchester:
'Here lies(.......name...............) A soldier in the Royal Hampshire Regiment who died from drinking too much beer on a hot day'

- an actual gravestone in the yard of Winchester cathedral (?)

Last one....Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake,
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.
 

Similar threads

Top