Amsterdam Red light district

#1
Am away at the moment, when i return in a cpl of months the other half fancys a weekend away in amsterdam and is game for a visit to the red light district, any one any experience of said district, as a couple and recommended places to visit, of any other european citys with a liberal attitude and red light area.
 
#3
Hamburg is much better than Amsterdam, imho. While Amsterdam has become seedily commercial, Hamburg retains a liberal culture. Couples are made much more welcome, but there is still something to suit everyone's taste.
 
#4
Wanna chance your arm? Try a bar called The Other Place. Owned by the Dutch Hells Angels. Went in there a few years ago dressed in jacket and waistcoat, asked the barman for a cappucino ( didn't get one!). Came out about 2 hours later with a broad smile after some good craik and alot of whiskeys n stuff. But then I'm a charming sort.
 
#5
insert-coin-here said:
Dont be a hom,take her to pattaya and kick in a katoi's back doors in front of her....a real squddie would.....
Fucking right. I'm 2 and a half months into a 5 month stint out here, and its opened my eyes! Highlight of last night, watching an American sailor get a hard on after a Katoi was grinding on his lap, only for him to jump off and run away when his 'shipmate' informed him Amy started life as a bloke! I've been out with Katois to Walking Street, they're a great bunch of lads... err... lasses to go out on the piss with.
 
#6
cakenarse said:
Am away at the moment, when i return in a cpl of months the other half fancys a weekend away in amsterdam and is game for a visit to the red light district, any one any experience of said district, as a couple and recommended places to visit, of any other european citys with a liberal attitude and red light area.
That sounds like a great, romantic weekend away!
Going to a seedy brothel, paying 500Euros and watching an asylum seeker, from Equitorial Guinea, roaring up your Mrs. :roll:
 
#7
I have visited Amsterdam 3 times to visit relatives, Can I recommend the Amstel Boatel. its is a floating boat made into a hotel which is moored centrally next to the Central station.

Its in a ideal location for the Train Station, Canal boats (for views from the rivers), and the superb Floating Chinese Palace next door for top grub.

The most important fact about this boat though is when I stayed there, I didnt get bitten by the Hundreds and thousands of mossies that infest most of the inner hotels, due to the water of the canals and filth! :x

It is but a five minute walk to the red light ditrict, but as a starter in which to get your lass in the mood for somthing dirtier you could try going to Chesters or Cheaters(somthing like that) just in front of the boat trip start point.

It is a very good bar, top bar maids all clad hooters style, they do the tequila slammers which you lick the salt from their chests.
no nakedness but they do dance every half hour on the bar tops, Coyote ugly style, very nice :D

Theres alot to do there, heinekin museum sex museum parks bike rides and of course you can do the red light district,

Banana bars ok, cant remember the name of any others as I was very drunk. Your lass is proberly going to make you hold your breath every time you go past a coffe shop, and dont think you got it all going on when you get propositioned by a fat bird in a thong.

She askes everyone, Enjoy..
 
#8
What's a non-floating boat then? A sub perhaps? Sorry, just feeling pedantic this morning! Mind you, a hotel in a submarine, now there's an idea. Tours round the polar icecap....underneath!
 
#9
scrofula said:
What's a non-floating boat then? A sub perhaps? Sorry, just feeling pedantic this morning! Mind you, a hotel in a submarine, now there's an idea. Tours round the polar icecap....underneath!
Point taken :oops: mong head on this morning.
 
#10
I took the wife to the Bananenbar (Dutch for Banana Bar) http://www.bananenbar.com/ hoping to get the juces running but spent the best part of an hour pi55ing my sides at the hopeless "models" Make sure you get in the splash zone for that extra fun!
 
#11
Catch a train to Gronningen.A much more traditional town and if you're not happy Hamburg is but a few clicks away.But steer well clear of Amsterdam for it is the cave of Satan and dodgy Turkish,every other shitetip Euro-minnion you could wave a stick at.
 
#12
'Kin 'ell!!! the Casa Rosso is STILL open for business.....went there as a young sprog in the early 80's....if you fancy a laugh, go to a show (audience participation encouraged) and if they are as inept as back then you'll be in for a scream!!
 
#13
The whole place is vile den of shallowness.

The entire red light district should be levelled, replaced with a museum, a cathedral and a wishing well, so shallow people can repent their horrid sins
 
#14
minister_doh_nut said:
The whole place is vile den of shallowness.

The entire red light district should be levelled, replaced with a museum, a cathedral and a wishing well, so shallow people can repent their horrid sins
You are so right!

I've devoted years of my life and my personal fortune in an attempt to bring them all to reason. I've tried to save them all from the fires of eternal damnation by anointing each and every one of them with my own er.. special holy tattie water. It's a technique I once heard of from a devout, defrocked, Catholic priest! He was too ahead of his time! The Dutch will one day dedicate a church to my saintly semen and the Bishops, all gleaming in their finery will flick pearls of spaff over the heads of the faithfull, in blessing!
 
#15
cernunnos said:
minister_doh_nut said:
The whole place is vile den of shallowness.

The entire red light district should be levelled, replaced with a museum, a cathedral and a wishing well, so shallow people can repent their horrid sins
You are so right!

I've devoted years of my life and my personal fortune in an attempt to bring them all to reason. I've tried to save them all from the fires of eternal damnation by anointing each and every one of them with my own er.. special holy tattie water. It's a technique I once heard of from a devout, defrocked, Catholic priest! He was too ahead of his time! The Dutch will one day dedicate a church to my saintly semen and the Bishops, all gleaming in their finery will flick pearls of spaff over the heads of the faithfull, in blessing!
I'll bet you were first in line for the umberella wasn't tha?. :D
 
#16
scrofula said:
Wanna chance your arm? Try a bar called The Other Place. Owned by the Dutch Hells Angels. Went in there a few years ago dressed in jacket and waistcoat, asked the barman for a cappucino ( didn't get one!). Came out about 2 hours later with a broad smile after some good craik and alot of whiskeys n stuff. But then I'm a charming sort.
That the one with the suits of armour on display? Nice bar, that - and it offers a bloody good view up and down the strip from some massive bay windows upstairs. You can play pool, have a beer and have a perv in nice surroundings before you crack on with your tour of sex.
 
#17
Mr_Deputy said:
I think I've been Other Place too - was away working but took a blonde friend along for the ride to Holland - we both quite like rock so went there out of the snow for a beer and stayed a couple of hours. VERY loud rock and pool tables upstairs. We sat at bar and chatted with bar staff and worked way through the choice of beers. Then the cops came in to frisk everyone for knives...guess what I had a knife on me (I often carry one when away working - I dont intend to hurt anyone more likely to cut boxes or open a wine bottle!) so had to tell my friend to shove it in her knickers!! Which she did and the police were very friendly and jokey. But they did have gay biker leather jackets on and I kept thinking about the Fast Show sketch.
Is it now a fish knife?.
 
#18
cakenarse said:
Am away at the moment, when i return in a cpl of months the other half fancys a weekend away in amsterdam and is game for a visit to the red light district
Reading between the lines, I detect she's yearning to be made airtight, on stage, during a live show by three blokes who are marginally better in bed than yourself and who have penises that don't resemble a half-melted walnut whip.
 
#19
Be outside the Bulldog this Saturday nght, around 1900 hrs.

Look for two p1ssed up fat blokes with skinheads and tatoo's, dancing to "Gold" and skint after blowing thousands on wh0res, beer and weed.

That'll be me and MDN. We'll show you around and then rob you and sh*g your missus.
 
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#20
I'm just amazed our American friends haven't seen Aunties Twin Towers thing and have had en masse conniptions on the spot!
 

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