Americans Against Masturbation - Needs sounds

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Ozgerbobble, Sep 23, 2005.

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    Neo Con weirdo freaks

    I always recall Dave Allen recounting the advice given to him by the brothers at his catholic boarding school. They told him that when he went to bed he should cross his arms in a holy stylee across his chest so that as the angel of the lord flew over he would know who were God's children

    It didnt take the older boys long to persuade him that the explanation was "Bollix" and simply designed to stop him wnaking


    What's wrong with throwing yourself around the room till your ears bleed?

    So, it good or bad?

    'Jesus Cries When You Touch Yourself'

    He'd be laid out dead on my sitting room floor if he could see Monkeys favourite sitting pose!

    Naked, except a t-shirt, one hand on remote for VCR and the other on his willy and sac, counting and checking, then recounting and rechecking!

    He's developing a life long love of his dangles that's for sure!

    Beebs :D
  3. It looks a bit suspect doesnt it.

    Either they have discovered thrapping before they could manage to walk or they've shoved some Kinda Surprise down their pampers to get their interest.

    I'll never forget my first act of self-loving :lol:
  4. Masturbation is the gift that just keeps on giving.....

    If God had intended me to touch myself "like that" he would have given me opposable thumbs, a large and imaginative mind, curtains and the internet - oh hang on - he did.

    Praise the Lord.
  5. Well he must be a feckin manic depressive now as I bang one out at least 10 times a day

  6. Er, he's 4.

    Beebs :?
  7. Its not just the guys who do it either. Show me a woman who hasnt had a go on herself and I will show you a liar!! And it has nothing to do with the sexual ability of your partner either, its just bloody nice!!! lol
  8. What Jesus is 4 ?????

  9. No; Jesus is dead!

    Edited from grammar.
  10. Jesus cries when you touch yourself does he the bugger never had to fill in 10 hours in a Sanger then did he. You can do it at least twice in that time.
  11. Oh Lordy - I'm going to hell.....
  12. HAHAHA!!!!!! Twice! Please! If you're a female in 10 hours you can do it, min, 20 times and still have time for tea and a cig inbetween.....

    Female masterbation, it only takes longer if there's a man involved, we do it right, first time, every time. :D

    Beebs ;)
  13. You've been doing it for longer than others as well.
  14. Yes :(

  15. Wouldn't DAle help you?