American wives

#1
Bothered by a recent flurry of supposedly intelligent, good looking young Americans of the female persuasion offering lifelong happiness, I asked an American friend what it's all about? She tells me things are not too good at present in the land of the free, and many young women are looking for out. The bonus, for you lot, is that they have a "thing" for anything Brit, so in the spirit of keeping up the alliance I've directed a bunch of potential wives to this forum. Mine's a stunner, even OFH could pull with this lot, so watch out, watch out. :wink: If you, too, are on myspace and think it's all Nigerian scammers coming at you, think again?
 
#2
Well if thats the case, I will be holding auditions, I shall start with applications from The Washington Redskin Cheerleaders
and then gradually work my way through all cheerleading teams until a suitable candidate is found.
 
#3
oscar1whisky said:
Bothered by a recent flurry of supposedly intelligent, good looking young Americans of the female persuasion offering lifelong happiness,The bonus, for you lot, is that they have a "thing" for anything Brit,
Oh well done, you steer these these young lovies who thinks every Brit is Hugh Grant, on to the hairy arsed animals on ARRSE!

You really thought this through didn't you, not only will you put US / UK relations back a couple of centuries but you'll create massive problems for those of us with Yank women in tow as the word gets around
 
#4
Great- a bunch of SCH's who, although they generally take better care of themselves and are nicer to look at*, are nowhere near as filthy as their British counterparts. On the other hand, "Bridezillas" are a dime a dozen.

*Qualifying statement. I live in Southern California- and it is like you see on TV. I'm sure that elsewhere in the country there are plenty of greasy-haired, gap-toothed slappers with "thyroid conditions" which are apparently best treated with family buckets of KFC and Mountain Dew IVs. Jerry Springer gets his guests from somewhere.
 
#5
crabtastic said:
I'm sure that elsewhere in the country there are plenty of greasy-haired, gap-toothed slappers with "thyroid conditions" which are apparently best treated with family buckets of KFC and Mountain Dew IVs. Jerry Springer gets his guests from somewhere.
and you say that like its a bad thing 8O
 
#6
crabtastic said:
*Qualifying statement. I live in Southern California- and it is like you see on TV. I'm sure that elsewhere in the country there are plenty of greasy-haired, gap-toothed slappers with "thyroid conditions" which are apparently best treated with family buckets of KFC and Mountain Dew IVs. Jerry Springer gets his guests from somewhere.



Hmmmmm. maybe not then
 
#7
Armchair, Egad, sir, are you suggesting that the pride of Britain's manhood act ungallantly in the presence of the fairer sex? A vile calumny! We should do all we can to increase the depth of the American gene pool, volunteers step one pace forward. (No, Jones827, not you)
 
#8
Being a septic sort was married to a septic bride for 20+ years. Nice, very fit, looked quite nice in uniform (not the green sort but the dark blue sort with gold bands on sleeves, gold buttons etc). She was very fond of big gray boat things. BUT would not go that way again. Would much prefer two 25's to one at 50. (don;t have the two 25's but I can dream can't I)
 
#9
I married an American-issue lass myself, California type. Seems to be working out for me so far. Tolerates my guns, deals with my occasional absences, and when she says "We need new curtains", she actually does it herself.

NTM
 
#10
Barrack Room Lawyer said:
Well if thats the case, I will be holding auditions, I shall start with applications from The Washington Redskin Cheerleaders
and then gradually work my way through all cheerleading teams until a suitable candidate is found.
Twat! it's only a little picture and my eyesight is not what it should be :cry:
 
#11
#13
If I was into fcuking colonials they would have to be from down under, have recently had cancer and go by the name of 'Kylie' and have a sister called 'Dani'!

Why in all that's holy would anyone want to spend any longer than it takes to do the dirty deed with some 4th generation eurotrash is beyond me. I'd rather take a ball hammer to the back of my head, same effect, brain numbing, but without having to listen to their whinie septic voices!
 
#15
crabtastic said:
Barrack Room Lawyer said:
Well if thats the case, I will be holding auditions, I shall start with applications from The Washington Redskin Cheerleaders
and then gradually work my way through all cheerleading teams until a suitable candidate is found.
I know a couple of girls on the Boston Celtics cheerleading squad. You want me to make a couple of calls?

http://internet128.com/index.php/archives/2007/11/10/nothing-but-pictures-of-boston-celtics-dancers/
:cry: so unfair, god its so unfair.

Knowing my luck Id more likely end up with these:
Large slice of cake please
 
#16
crabtastic said:
Barrack Room Lawyer said:
Well if thats the case, I will be holding auditions, I shall start with applications from The Washington Redskin Cheerleaders
and then gradually work my way through all cheerleading teams until a suitable candidate is found.
I know a couple of girls on the Boston Celtics cheerleading squad. You want me to make a couple of calls?

http://internet128.com/index.php/archives/2007/11/10/nothing-but-pictures-of-boston-celtics-dancers/
Good Lord awmighty, I think I may go blind.
 
#17
California_Tanker said:
I married an American-issue lass myself, California type. Seems to be working out for me so far. Tolerates my guns, deals with my occasional absences, and when she says "We need new curtains", she actually does it herself.

NTM
Any chance of a piccy?
 
#18
light_projector said:
California_Tanker said:
I married an American-issue lass myself, California type. Seems to be working out for me so far. Tolerates my guns, deals with my occasional absences, and when she says "We need new curtains", she actually does it herself.

NTM
Any chance of a piccy?
Preferably a nekkid piccy?
 
#19
AS long as she doesn't think she is "oirish" due to having a great, great, great, great grandfather that was once booted out of "Oirland" by a SCOT (check yer history :) ), then I'm game.

Especially ones from Florida. I walked around there with a permanent salami in the pants.

Travel to Miami and you'll see what a sh1tehole it actually is (bit like London, really smart small places surrounded by vast, well, sh1tholes, can't think of a better word) but FCUKING HELL, the birds are magnificent.

So, yanky women, if you want a Brit that looks fcuk all like Hugh Grant, has a Black Country accent that means you will understand 1 in 10 words I say, has more tattoos than your average death row inmate, shorter hair than a chemo patient and a nose that has been broken more times than Rossanas, I'm yer man :)

But I'm a Brit, so that puts me 100% above any yank

And our exchange rate means I am filthy rich :)
 
#20
'Oh well done, you steer these these young lovies who thinks every Brit is Hugh Grant, on to the hairy arsed animals on ARRSE! '........it's called Wax- Sack and Crack. Just lie back and think of England.Failing that, the thought of a Kentucky chicks lips round your balls. :D :oops:
 

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