American Idol 2013

Yes, I admit, I watch it when the Mad Scary one has it on, and I quite enjoy the first few weeks of losers and no-hopers and the last few when the (mainly) genuinely good ones are left.

This year though, I watch it through gritted teeth whilst fantasising about smashing Nicki Minaj's face in with a burning, barbed wire-wrapped cricket bat.

What a vacuous, self-obsessed bitch. I doubt she ever has a thought other than 'me me me me me".

Oh yes - and that nasaly, whiny fucking voice.

And breath.

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