America - its all a bit odd...

I've mentioned it on here before but going ashore for a few in Charleston we were given a free tour of the town by a cabbie who was thrilled to have Brits in his cab.

As he was driving us around he pointed out a street (King Street?) that we should keep to the one side of and not cross as it would be dangerous to do so.
I worked in Charleston on a few occasions and really like the city, made a few longtime mates as well, their cabbies are a bit different though. I was offered deep fried squirrel by a cabbie on one occasion, and on another was asked if l was looking for dark chocolate entertainment......
 
Mind your mouth boy, I drink hot tea and I'm good at grilling. It's the kunts that put ice cubes in tea that need watching, fecking weirdos
I know someone who was in the southern US and asked for a cup of tea in a restaurant. They gave her a glass of ice tea.

She said that she wanted a hot cup of real tea, not ice tea. They took the glass of ice tea, put it in the microwave to heat it up and then put it back down in front of her. She gave up at that point.
 
And yet there folks on here who haven't got a clue about the place and see it as a place where you will likely get shot when visiting. We've both seen it mate.

Did you worry about getting shot dead when you moved to America? Did any of the other British migrants? (Gotta do something about that immigration. It boils Steamboats piss).

Of course you didn't.

And the critics have almost certainly been to America, have a clue about the place and know they are unlikely to get shot whilst visiting. They are just more likely to get shot than in the UK but their risk perception tells them the chances are still vanishingly small.
 

endure

GCM
I know someone who was in the southern US and asked for a cup of tea in a restaurant. They gave her a glass of ice tea.

She said that she wanted a hot cup of real tea, not ice tea. They took the glass of ice tea, put it in the microwave to heat it up and then put it back down in front of her. She gave up at that point.
She should haver told them she was willing to show them how to make a proper cuppa as long as they were willing to put Betty back in charge and start paying taxes again...
 
Did you worry about getting shot dead when you moved to America? Did any of the other British migrants? (Gotta do something about that immigration. It boils Steamboats piss).

Of course you didn't.

And the critics have almost certainly been to America, have a clue about the place and know they are unlikely to get shot whilst visiting. They are just more likely to get shot than in the UK but their risk perception tells them the chances are still vanishingly small.
You forgot to add the term illegal, which is a whole new ball game!
 
Did you worry about getting shot dead when you moved to America? Did any of the other British migrants? (Gotta do something about that immigration. It boils Steamboats piss).

Of course you didn't.

And the critics have almost certainly been to America, have a clue about the place and know they are unlikely to get shot whilst visiting. They are just more likely to get shot than in the UK but their risk perception tells them the chances are still vanishingly small.

Dude, I'm agreeing with you on this. What I am saying is there are folks on here who have never been to America but they sure have plenty to say about the place. They base their views on America by what they've read or seen on social media or read or heard on the news.

There are more than one or two on here who have no clue about the place or it's people but have plenty to say on it and it's usually uninformed rubbish. What I'm saying is the odds of getting shot anywhere over here are more than likely the same odds as getting stabbed while walking around any city in the UK.

That's what I meant by taking the reasoning you initially used and applying it to here. I'm not trying to argue that one is any more or less safer than the other.
 
I know someone who was in the southern US and asked for a cup of tea in a restaurant. They gave her a glass of ice tea.

She said that she wanted a hot cup of real tea, not ice tea. They took the glass of ice tea, put it in the microwave to heat it up and then put it back down in front of her. She gave up at that point.

The first time I ever ordered tea over here I told the waiter that I asked for tea and not pi$$ water in a cup and also pointed out that he forgot to bring the milk.

The Yanks do make a lot of good stuff but they can't make a fecking decent cup of tea, I include herself in that as well. Married for over 40 years and she still can't make a drinkable cup of tea.
 
Did you worry about getting shot dead when you moved to America? Did any of the other British migrants? (Gotta do something about that immigration. It boils Steamboats piss).

Of course you didn't.

And the critics have almost certainly been to America, have a clue about the place and know they are unlikely to get shot whilst visiting. They are just more likely to get shot than in the UK but their risk perception tells them the chances are still vanishingly small.
Hmm, not sure about that. Several places in the States that we've been warned off about going to.

New Orleans. Stay in the tourist areas. Do not go near Louis Armstrong park after dark and no further than 3 blocks from Bourbon. Do not walk up Canal in the evening but take a taxi. Loads of cops in the French Quarter but away from that do not venture. 3 times now we've been to that absolutely fabulous city, each time several shootings within a couple of blocks where we staying.

Miami. About 2/3 of the city out of bounds. Do not venture out of the hotel area and do not cross the road to where all those Cuban bars are. Again, several shootings within a couple of blocks of our hotel.

Washington. Do not even think of going into the centre after dark. Our hotel was in Arlington and the concierge told us to only go to the restaurants in the well lit block around us. In the weekend we stayed there (on a long road trip Washington, Fredericksburg, Richmond, Blue Mountains etc) there were 13 murders within a mile of the Capitol building.

Chicago. Do not venture out after dark. Take a taxi everywhere even if it's only half a mile. Again. several murders in a couple of blocks of our hotel that night.

Texas. Great. Out in the boonies with some friends we'd met in Belize. Only downside, 200 mile round trip to the supermarket (once a week) but out in the wilds and fantastic horse riding and BBQs plus flowing booze. Warned off from going to Dallas (which I thought would be safe) but apparently Houston was safer.

Do not, ever, enter anyone's property for any reason but especially after dark.

NY. Hated the place with the crowds, the vertigo inducing buildings but, unless you go past the Bronx, felt pretty safe. Even Harlem has been touristified. Not been there for over 10 years but believe it's got a bit dangerous recently.

San Fran. First went there about 35 years ago and fell in love with the place. The streetcars, the beach area, the wharf side with fantastic markets and restaurants. Went there again with missus 4 years ago and it's a shitehole. Tramps and beggars all over the place. Golden Gate bridge with the great unwashed under the stanchions and very aggressive, drugged up and very smelly beggars at that.

Las Vegas. Stay in the strip only (lots of police presence) or the old Downtown area. Go outside and you take your life in your hands with people getting shot just to get the quarters so they can stick them in slot machines. North LV had almost 1 murder a day in 2007 when we last went there (other 2 times were fun. End of Feb and the temp was zero (or 32F) and we had to buy coats. Beginning of March for another visit and it was pushing 100F so had to buy bathing costumes. Fun place).

Hawaii. Pissed down with rain the whole week we were there so can't really comment. Hawaiian pizza is crap but they do some nice shrimp.

Hotels in every place seemed to have a special in house guide whose only job is to warn tourists where not to go and which places to stay. OK, only been to what may be considered tourist places (DC being our favourite and could spend years going round Smithsonians and the Mt Vernon areas) and not in the boonies like Wyoming or Idaho. But everywhere we've been the number of muggins, murders and attacks reported in the local press and news have been horrendous.
 
Hmm, not sure about that. Several places in the States that we've been warned off about going to.

New Orleans. Stay in the tourist areas. Do not go near Louis Armstrong park after dark and no further than 3 blocks from Bourbon. Do not walk up Canal in the evening but take a taxi. Loads of cops in the French Quarter but away from that do not venture. 3 times now we've been to that absolutely fabulous city, each time several shootings within a couple of blocks where we staying.

Miami. About 2/3 of the city out of bounds. Do not venture out of the hotel area and do not cross the road to where all those Cuban bars are. Again, several shootings within a couple of blocks of our hotel.

Washington. Do not even think of going into the centre after dark. Our hotel was in Arlington and the concierge told us to only go to the restaurants in the well lit block around us. In the weekend we stayed there (on a long road trip Washington, Fredericksburg, Richmond, Blue Mountains etc) there were 13 murders within a mile of the Capitol building.

Chicago. Do not venture out after dark. Take a taxi everywhere even if it's only half a mile. Again. several murders in a couple of blocks of our hotel that night.

Texas. Great. Out in the boonies with some friends we'd met in Belize. Only downside, 200 mile round trip to the supermarket (once a week) but out in the wilds and fantastic horse riding and BBQs plus flowing booze. Warned off from going to Dallas (which I thought would be safe) but apparently Houston was safer.

Do not, ever, enter anyone's property for any reason but especially after dark.

NY. Hated the place with the crowds, the vertigo inducing buildings but, unless you go past the Bronx, felt pretty safe. Even Harlem has been touristified. Not been there for over 10 years but believe it's got a bit dangerous recently.

San Fran. First went there about 35 years ago and fell in love with the place. The streetcars, the beach area, the wharf side with fantastic markets and restaurants. Went there again with missus 4 years ago and it's a shitehole. Tramps and beggars all over the place. Golden Gate bridge with the great unwashed under the stanchions and very aggressive, drugged up and very smelly beggars at that.

Las Vegas. Stay in the strip only (lots of police presence) or the old Downtown area. Go outside and you take your life in your hands with people getting shot just to get the quarters so they can stick them in slot machines. North LV had almost 1 murder a day in 2007 when we last went there (other 2 times were fun. End of Feb and the temp was zero (or 32F) and we had to buy coats. Beginning of March for another visit and it was pushing 100F so had to buy bathing costumes. Fun place).

Hawaii. Pissed down with rain the whole week we were there so can't really comment. Hawaiian pizza is crap but they do some nice shrimp.

Hotels in every place seemed to have a special in house guide whose only job is to warn tourists where not to go and which places to stay. OK, only been to what may be considered tourist places (DC being our favourite and could spend years going round Smithsonians and the Mt Vernon areas) and not in the boonies like Wyoming or Idaho. But everywhere we've been the number of muggins, murders and attacks reported in the local press and news have been horrendous.
I hate to be the one to break this to you mate, but I think your wife is a serial killer.
 
I hate to be the one to break this to you mate, but I think your wife is a serial killer.

And there was me thinking the black gloves and balaclava was just cos she'd read Fifty Shades of Grey.
Best we don't visit Boston, then.
 
Hmm, not sure about that. Several places in the States that we've been warned off about going to.

New Orleans. Stay in the tourist areas. Do not go near Louis Armstrong park after dark and no further than 3 blocks from Bourbon. Do not walk up Canal in the evening but take a taxi. Loads of cops in the French Quarter but away from that do not venture. 3 times now we've been to that absolutely fabulous city, each time several shootings within a couple of blocks where we staying.

Miami. About 2/3 of the city out of bounds. Do not venture out of the hotel area and do not cross the road to where all those Cuban bars are. Again, several shootings within a couple of blocks of our hotel.

Washington. Do not even think of going into the centre after dark. Our hotel was in Arlington and the concierge told us to only go to the restaurants in the well lit block around us. In the weekend we stayed there (on a long road trip Washington, Fredericksburg, Richmond, Blue Mountains etc) there were 13 murders within a mile of the Capitol building.

Chicago. Do not venture out after dark. Take a taxi everywhere even if it's only half a mile. Again. several murders in a couple of blocks of our hotel that night.

Texas. Great. Out in the boonies with some friends we'd met in Belize. Only downside, 200 mile round trip to the supermarket (once a week) but out in the wilds and fantastic horse riding and BBQs plus flowing booze. Warned off from going to Dallas (which I thought would be safe) but apparently Houston was safer.

Do not, ever, enter anyone's property for any reason but especially after dark.

NY. Hated the place with the crowds, the vertigo inducing buildings but, unless you go past the Bronx, felt pretty safe. Even Harlem has been touristified. Not been there for over 10 years but believe it's got a bit dangerous recently.

San Fran. First went there about 35 years ago and fell in love with the place. The streetcars, the beach area, the wharf side with fantastic markets and restaurants. Went there again with missus 4 years ago and it's a shitehole. Tramps and beggars all over the place. Golden Gate bridge with the great unwashed under the stanchions and very aggressive, drugged up and very smelly beggars at that.

Las Vegas. Stay in the strip only (lots of police presence) or the old Downtown area. Go outside and you take your life in your hands with people getting shot just to get the quarters so they can stick them in slot machines. North LV had almost 1 murder a day in 2007 when we last went there (other 2 times were fun. End of Feb and the temp was zero (or 32F) and we had to buy coats. Beginning of March for another visit and it was pushing 100F so had to buy bathing costumes. Fun place).

Hawaii. Pissed down with rain the whole week we were there so can't really comment. Hawaiian pizza is crap but they do some nice shrimp.

Hotels in every place seemed to have a special in house guide whose only job is to warn tourists where not to go and which places to stay. OK, only been to what may be considered tourist places (DC being our favourite and could spend years going round Smithsonians and the Mt Vernon areas) and not in the boonies like Wyoming or Idaho. But everywhere we've been the number of muggins, murders and attacks reported in the local press and news have been horrendous.
One of my favourite things about travelling in the US is taking the backroads rather than the interstates. Most metropolitan cities in the western world are basically the same, it’s the off the beaten path routes that yield the most interesting sights and the US is excellent for that.
 
When I lived in Houston, I decided to go to a work-related exhibition at the Conference Centre Downtown. I discovered that I could get a bus to within a block from almost right outside my house for $2.50 each way, which I considered a bargain compared with the $50 it would cost to park there.
When I shared these thoughts with a colleague, he looked at me as if I had lost my mind and told me to take a gun (I didn’t have a gun).
In the end, I took the bus without the slightest problem and most of the other passengers were clearly office workers, so I’m not sure where the bad rep. came from.
 

Themanwho

LE
Book Reviewer
My father was a research chemist and traveled to the U.K. in the 1950s to demonstrate a process that his company had developed to some interested English paper companies. He brought home a genuine cricket bat and cricket ball as a present to me and my twin brother. He also brought home a cricket rule book to show how the game was meant to be played, but we found the rules to be too restrictive and boring so we devised a game of our own which involved throwing the ball at the batter and the batter chasing after the pitcher to do him an injury. Great fun.
Ah, Australian rules....
 
I wonder what His Eminence (PBUH) whispered in her ear before disappearing in a puff of purple smoke? I'm sure it's given the fire crew something to talk about though!

'A screaming naked woman stuck in an eight-inch space between two buildings was saved by firefighters who drilled through a concrete wall in a dramatic near three-hour rescue. The woman, who hasn't been named, managed to trap herself between the walls of an auto body shop and a car stereo store in Santa Ana, California on Tuesday.

'Orange County Fire Authority Capt. Thanh Nguyen told The US Sun that it's a complete "mystery" how the woman got there. Rescuers with the Orange County Fire Department were summoned to the scene just after 2pm after workers inside the auto shop heard the woman crying for help. It took the workers around 20 to 30 minutes to figure out where the woman was. She was trapped in a space no more than a foot-wide, laying on her side and completely naked, Nguyen said.

'Firefighters were unable to reach the woman and she was unable to crawl out of the space. The only option, officials determined, was to drill a hole through the wall adjacent to the woman and pull her to safety.'


 
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One of my favourite things about travelling in the US is taking the backroads rather than the interstates. Most metropolitan cities in the western world are basically the same, it’s the off the beaten path routes that yield the most interesting sights and the US is excellent for that.
Route 66. You can either follow I-44 (then I-40) for much of the way or take the 'old route' (there are actually several). You cover ground faster on the interstate, but it's much more fun on the backroads.
 
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I saw the biggest shit I have ever seen in a truck stop on Route 66.

It made the Lloyds Log look like a cocktail sausage and had clearly fought off numerous attempts to flush it away. It must have been 24" long and coiled like a bog python.

**** knows how they got rid of it in the end - crowbars and chisels probably. The donors arse must have looked like the Japanese flag.

Doris couldn't work out why I walked out of the khazi in tears of laughter and she refused to go and look at it.
 
Competitive ironing is unlikely to take off as a spectator sport. Even if it would be more interesting to watch than golf.
Oh, I don’t know. We had an extreme ironing run up Mount Ignum. All that one had to do was carry something ironing-related. Some thrusters thought a spray can of starch was enough. The hard core sported ironing boards on their backs. The winner was awarded Eddy the Eagle’s ski suit. Actually, it was a set of orange coveralls. Fast forward a few hours and the US bar which was having a fancy dress party had a surprise entry. Chap in coveralls, hands cable tied behind his back, sandbag over head. For some reasons he didn’t win first prize and the Cousins had a small sense of humour (sorry, humor,) failure.
 
Hmm, not sure about that. Several places in the States that we've been warned off about going to.

New Orleans. Stay in the tourist areas. Do not go near Louis Armstrong park after dark and no further than 3 blocks from Bourbon. Do not walk up Canal in the evening but take a taxi. Loads of cops in the French Quarter but away from that do not venture. 3 times now we've been to that absolutely fabulous city, each time several shootings within a couple of blocks where we staying.

Miami. About 2/3 of the city out of bounds. Do not venture out of the hotel area and do not cross the road to where all those Cuban bars are. Again, several shootings within a couple of blocks of our hotel.

Washington. Do not even think of going into the centre after dark. Our hotel was in Arlington and the concierge told us to only go to the restaurants in the well lit block around us. In the weekend we stayed there (on a long road trip Washington, Fredericksburg, Richmond, Blue Mountains etc) there were 13 murders within a mile of the Capitol building.

Chicago. Do not venture out after dark. Take a taxi everywhere even if it's only half a mile. Again. several murders in a couple of blocks of our hotel that night.

Texas. Great. Out in the boonies with some friends we'd met in Belize. Only downside, 200 mile round trip to the supermarket (once a week) but out in the wilds and fantastic horse riding and BBQs plus flowing booze. Warned off from going to Dallas (which I thought would be safe) but apparently Houston was safer.

Do not, ever, enter anyone's property for any reason but especially after dark.

NY. Hated the place with the crowds, the vertigo inducing buildings but, unless you go past the Bronx, felt pretty safe. Even Harlem has been touristified. Not been there for over 10 years but believe it's got a bit dangerous recently.

San Fran. First went there about 35 years ago and fell in love with the place. The streetcars, the beach area, the wharf side with fantastic markets and restaurants. Went there again with missus 4 years ago and it's a shitehole. Tramps and beggars all over the place. Golden Gate bridge with the great unwashed under the stanchions and very aggressive, drugged up and very smelly beggars at that.

Las Vegas. Stay in the strip only (lots of police presence) or the old Downtown area. Go outside and you take your life in your hands with people getting shot just to get the quarters so they can stick them in slot machines. North LV had almost 1 murder a day in 2007 when we last went there (other 2 times were fun. End of Feb and the temp was zero (or 32F) and we had to buy coats. Beginning of March for another visit and it was pushing 100F so had to buy bathing costumes. Fun place).

Hawaii. Pissed down with rain the whole week we were there so can't really comment. Hawaiian pizza is crap but they do some nice shrimp.

Hotels in every place seemed to have a special in house guide whose only job is to warn tourists where not to go and which places to stay. OK, only been to what may be considered tourist places (DC being our favourite and could spend years going round Smithsonians and the Mt Vernon areas) and not in the boonies like Wyoming or Idaho. But everywhere we've been the number of muggins, murders and attacks reported in the local press and news have been horrendous.

As you say, “tourist areas”, but also large cities. Mega-cities in fact, for Chicago, NY and SF. Comparable with London, Paris, Rio, Toronto etc. Not Manchester, Glasgow or Belfast.

Looking at my state, Tennessee, we have 4 major cities. Memphis in the far west, Nashville in Middle TN, Knoxville in East TN and Chattanooga below Knoxville, bordering Georgia. I’m about an hour east of Knoxville, in a tourist area at the entrance to the Great Smoky Mountains National Park (which I can see from my window).

Memphis is a very impoverished city, majority black, and has a high crime rate. Nashville is a jewel, world-renowned for being “Music City”. Knoxville and Chattanooga are both post-industrial cities, somewhat reminiscent of Birmingham (not Alabama!). Nashville’s about 3 1/2 hrs from me. Driving there, I’d pass through Knoxville, Crossville and Cookeville. They’re just pleasant towns. Outside of Knoxville, no significant crime. Knoxville has its poor areas, but like any other city, there are big shiny buildings, hospitals, universities, malls, pleasant suburbs. Crossville and Cookeville are smaller, but are either side of the Cumberland Plateau. Driving through there, there is some spectacular scenery, somewhat like the M6 in Cumbria, but more trees :).

If I went north, I’d be in Virginia in about an hour, passing through Bristol, which is split between the two states. Bristol is home to the Bristol Motor Speedway. It’s just a boring NASCAR oval, but it holds over 160,000 people. They also use it for very large sporting events. About 5 years ago, the University of Tennessee played Virginia Tech there, and 156,000 people watched the game.

My point is that this is the America that people miss, when they go to Miami or Vegas. It’s where most Americans live, and represents nearly all of the land mass.
 
I saw the biggest shit I have ever seen in a truck stop on Route 66.

It made the Lloyds Log look like a cocktail sausage and had clearly fought off numerous attempts to flush it away. It must have been 24" long and coiled like a bog python.

**** knows how they got rid of it in the end - crowbars and chisels probably. The donors arse must have looked like the Japanese flag.

Doris couldn't work out why I walked out of the khazi in tears of laughter and she refused to go and look at it.
I always find the US truck stops an interesting place to buy petrol compared to normal small petrol stations. The sheer size of them and the fact many are like small towns is both overwhelming and fascinating at the same time.
 
I always find the US truck stops an interesting place to buy petrol compared to normal small petrol stations. The sheer size of them and the fact many are like small towns is both overwhelming and fascinating at the same time.

Completely agree, they can be huge. When I wrote the post above, i was thinking of describing the path from where I live south to Atlanta, and from Chattanooga, it basically follows the railway line. That’s a feature of the US’s development; it has broadly followed the transport infrastructure with firstly railways and then the US-routes and then the Interstates. Whereas in many/most other countries, the infrastructure was developed to link the existing settlements.

There’s a chain of restaurants here called “Cracker Barrel”, which bills itself as an “Old Country Store and Restaurant”. You find them predominantly at Interstate exits. Same for Waffle House, a chain of greasy spoons. Cheap food served quickly. At Interstate exits.
 

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