Ambulance Services need to lift heavier People!

#1
There is a report on Sky News today saying that the Ambulance services need to spend huge amounts of money on vehicles and gear to lift people who in this day and age are much heavier than 10 years ago. I smiled and thought intially "what a load of tosh", this is a ploy to get more money at a time of cutbacks. Nice try though!

Then they brought this 31 stone woman onto the box who was saying how much pain and suffering she had to go through when on an ambulance and it was so unfair on her because obesity is an addiction that she is afflicted with and that's not her fault.

I'm sorry but personally speaking as someone in later middle age who is overweight, somewhere consistantly around the 17 stone mark, and concious of the fact that I'm not really doing myself any favours and definately could set myself up for some real problems if I allowed myself to get any heavier, surely you would notice 31 stone piling on and think to yourself, these trousers are getting a bit tight, I'd better lose some weight?

Any thought's gentlemen on some good advice for the Ambulance Services and those larger user's who are unfortunately afflicted with obesity?
 
#4
Instead of giving them free ops on the NHS like stapling their stomach or whatever, maybe they could just staple the fat cunts mouths shut. Everyones a winner! Bonus is you don't have to listen to the fucking food hoover's whingeing about how it's an addiction, and not their fault at all. Just an idea....
 
#5
Look, some big boys made me do it their names were:

John Smith, Joshua Tetley, Arthur Guinness, Mr MaCallan, Mr Jameson, a Bombadier, Mr Fuller, Charlie Hill, the Becks gang and a tart called Stella.

How the fuck did you think I put all this weight on? Eating? Waste of drinking time.
 
#6
My father has been directly involved in the design of Ambulances with "lifting gear" for a while now. It came about when a rather large chap in Norfolk was trapped inside his house and the fire brigade took down a wall and then my tathers Ambulance team (6 people!) and the firebrigade team used a fork lift truck to get him out and a flat bed truck to get him to Padgets hospital.

I seem to recall the chap wanting to take the emergency crews to court for "loss of dignity"!!!!

Norfolk now have several ambulances with double width trolly stretchers and a lift to get the thing in the back.

Its a very sad situation.
 

Auld-Yin

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#7
Great news - pass those pies!!! :)
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
#9
I blame the creatures for my back pain and sciatica. As a youth on surgical wards there used to be loads of fat diabetic creatures all double amputees because they couldn't lay off the cakes. Bloody hard lifting a huge lump with two arms, bugger all to grab on to and we didn't have any lifting equipment then. Almost all older Nurses have chronic back pain through the greedy twats.
 

BuggerAll

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#10
A prime example of where a Government spending cut needs to occur.

These people's problems are self inflicted. I don't see why the tax payer should pay for their unsustainable life styles.
 

jarrod248

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#11
I think if you check the NICE guidelines on obesity you'll find that hammering their faces in with a pick axe helve is on page two.
 
C

count_duckula

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#12
This bloke tries to be very diplomatic, with plenty of euphemisms but then blows it spectacularly by saying: "this HUGE cupboard here at the back" carries a hoist to lift 255kg! Two hundred and fifty five! That's 41 stone! The new stretcher carries 400kg and there's a winch so that any whales being wheeled out of the back of the ambulance aren't launched across the hospital car park like Titanic. When they're being winched, winched as in construction yard do none of them feel enough embarassment to summon up the willpower to do something about it?

BBC News - Ambulance for obese patients developed
 

TheIronDuke

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#14
Or one of these so people on upper floors dont have to gaze upon them...

 
#15
Wont be long till we need one of these if they continue stuffing their fat chins.

3195115484_e196307fbc.jpg
 
#16
After extracting the putrid puss ridden 35 stones of dead weight and bed sores.The mortuary awaits.
These nice people do tables for Obese and Obese Plus.
 
#17
All in one obese patient processing plant......
 

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#18
All in one obese patient processing plant......
I like your thinking, are you running for office by any chance?

As a lad I remember watching a fallen cow being lifted into the knacker's wagon. Chain round the neck, switch on the winch, and up it went. To be fair I think all of it's bones broke as it went up and over the tail of the wagon but the driver didn't seem to be in any danger.
 

BuggerAll

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#19
I like your thinking, are you running for office by any chance?

As a lad I remember watching a fallen cow being lifted into the knacker's wagon. Chain round the neck, switch on the winch, and up it went. To be fair I think all of it's bones broke as it went up and over the tail of the wagon but the driver didn't seem to be in any danger.
I think there is a world of difference between a cow and a human being, however fat it is. If you tried to haul one of these obese types with a chain around its neck the head might fly off causing fluids to fly around all over the place. The driver and anyone else in the way would be in all sorts of danger. Not to mention the slip hazards on the pavement caused by the fat and so on flowing freely out.

The only thing worse than having to carry one of these creatures out off its nest alive would be if it is dead. Might be a good laugh for the neighbours but not for the poor bloody undertaker.
 

Joker62

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#20
I think there is a world of difference between a cow and a human being, however fat it is. If you tried to haul one of these obese types with a chain around its neck the head might fly off causing fluids to fly around all over the place. The driver and anyone else in the way would be in all sorts of danger. Not to mention the slip hazards on the pavement caused by the fat and so on flowing freely out.

The only thing worse than having to carry one of these creatures out off its nest alive would be if it is dead. Might be a good laugh for the neighbours but not for the poor bloody undertaker.
And think of the rain forests needed to build the coffin!!!
 

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