AM POOR AND RACIALLY DISADVANTAGED

Can I have a gun please;
Policies on gun crime are flawed because ministers overlook its root causes - poverty and inequality, a report by criminologists claims.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7478034.stm

 

No, you have enough money for a PC and internet connection and have not spent it on crack, White Lightning and a big stick to tw@t pensioners with.

Therefor you are one of the "Tory Elite" and deserve nothing at all.

 

Stone the, ' meek ' - they've been asking for it for years.

 

So have the cheesemakers

 

I was given my PC and am piggybacking my connection on an unencrypted wireless link in the new flats,that overshadow my mean dwelling.
Can I have a gun please?

 

No, you were given the PC, you didn't steal it. Therefore no sideways held "9" for you you posh cnut

 

Damm
was looking forward to the sideways 9 so much,or maybe one of those brutal looking unstable MAC10s
Back to the stick with nails in it

Not for pensioners
Smackheads and theiving crackhead whores are most common in my little piece of heaven

 

'Fraid not. Gobernment policy clearly staes that "stick with nails in it" is only eligible to those that have at least been given 1 ASBO and frequent street corners drinking something called "Special Brew"

Pieces of cucumber and a stern voice only for you I'm afraid.

 

I have a cricket bat,and a subsciption to a wine club
Im screwed arnt I?

 

Yes. Hand the bat in to the closest Constable ASAP. PCSO's will not do, H&S excludes them from handling a strange mans wood.

You may keep the wine club magazines to gently tap any potential intruder. However, a slap anywhere but over the left knuckle using more than 1KG per sq KM of pressure will constitute assault and you will be arrested, even if said intruder is killing you at the time with his sideways 9.

 

I had heard that reading out loud the more difficult words in said magazine constitutes an assault as I am "demeaning their differntly applied levels of comprehension" and this would result in life imprisonment with parole,my house and contents being given to underprivileged youths and my entire familly run out of their homes, their graves dug up unto the 5th generation,and all familly lands sown with salt

 

Good point. Better to be safe than sorry and burn all copies.

A recent edition of "Janet & John go to the offy" may be more suitable

 

something with pictures
no writing
all simple 3 colour images
dont want to offend the darlins.
Must go,someone is kicking my door

 

Ok,

Who tipped up the stall in the market ? and who is dating the dodgey bird surrounded by stone chuckers over there?

I only need one grass Mein Herr.

 

Unless of course he's an "undercover" BTP Inspector.