Am I turning into a Toff Walt??

#1
After a few nights without booze, and a bit of thinking, I have come to the conclusion that I may be a toff walt??

Now, for those of you that don't know me, I'm far from "posh", I don't own a black lab, or drive a range-rover, but here's the worrying thing.

In the last month or so I have attended a masked ball at the officers mess in Welly Bks. Been to a charity dinner/auction at epsom racecourse. Fully stocked my humidor with Cohiba rubostos, been clay pigeon shooting at Bisley, and to top it all.......purchased a Barbour Stockman jacket! (despite having no intentions of ever, and I mean EVER! riding a horse)

So.....what's the verdict? Am I a toff walt? A pot' toff? A toff in the making? Or just a cnut??

One eagerly waits for ones opinion ;)
 
#3
one-flew-over said:
Well if Jordan is riding at the HOTY show....... means anyone can do these nowadays.

You can't polish a turd so WALT CNUT it is.
Well.....technically.....you can polish a turd ;)
 
#5
Smudge67, i would say that you are probably growing up a bit and finding your own identity or identity that you relate to. You obviously like the finer things in life.

Be concerned when you buy a Burberry shell suit and listen to drum and bass.

Then be afraid.

RCGJ Psychoanalyst.
 
#6
RedcoatGreenjacket said:
Smudge67, i would say that you are probably growing up a bit and finding your own identity or identity that you relate to. You obviously like the finer things in life.

Be concerned when you buy a Burberry shell suit and listen to drum and bass.

Then be afraid.

RCGJ Psychoanalyst.
Well, at 32, am I a late starter?? :?

Burberry......that'll never happen!
 
B

BambiBasher

Guest
#8
one-flew-over said:
You can't polish a turd
Yes you can. Dry it in a low oven for a couple of hours, let it cool then soak it in resin to preserve its structural integrity. A bit of a buffing on the wheel, a few coats of lacquer, and there you have it, a turd you can be proud to polish, and interesting desk accoutrement.
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#10
Mmmmmmm, depends if you can actually carry it orf old bean.

If one has a cut glass accent, a germanic nose with blond hair and a thrusting, imperious chin . . . that has to open doors, and if one goes a step further by having more money than the national debt, has been born with it, and treats it and the people around one with obvious disdain whilst quaffing vintage tipples, a glass of which takes your average Northern Monkey 20 years to pay for, then you are well on your way.

On the other hand, and this is something I suspect, you look at a boxer in tweeds and a monicle, driving around in an articulated truck and think 'oooer, look at that flash cnut, inneee posh!', then I'd stop right now, get your hoodie back on, and go back to happy slapping old ladies at bus stops.
 
#11
I can do the "vintage tipples," but fall down on the rest of it....hmmmm.

And "no" to that tool with the monicle, and listhp!
 
#12
What I'd say, old boy, is that so long as you can didn't spend your school days getting roughly buggered by the fifth formers, don't spend three times your income heating your drafty and damp family home and aren't engaged to your cousin you should be ok.
 
#13
BambiBasher said:
one-flew-over said:
You can't polish a turd
Yes you can. Dry it in a low oven for a couple of hours, let it cool then soak it in resin to preserve its structural integrity. A bit of a buffing on the wheel, a few coats of lacquer, and there you have it, a turd you can be proud to polish, and interesting desk accoutrement.
I think the expression is 'You can polish a turd, but it is still a turd' The sort of comment reserved for LE Officers by social climbers in the Mess for example.
 
#14
RedcoatGreenjacket said:
Smudge67, i would say that you are probably growing up a bit and finding your own identity or identity that you relate to. You obviously like the finer things in life.

Be concerned when you buy a Burberry shell suit and listen to drum and bass.

Then be afraid.

RCGJ Psychoanalyst.
Smudge, perhaps i mean dressing your age. But Put the cords down stand back and leave the shoppe!

RCGJ
 
#15
RedcoatGreenjacket said:
RedcoatGreenjacket said:
Smudge67, i would say that you are probably growing up a bit and finding your own identity or identity that you relate to. You obviously like the finer things in life.

Be concerned when you buy a Burberry shell suit and listen to drum and bass.

Then be afraid.

RCGJ Psychoanalyst.
Smudge, perhaps i mean dressing your age. But Put the cords down stand back and leave the shoppe!

RCGJ
Well...I've not had the urge to purchase cords yet! Thankfully!
 
#16
smudge67 said:
RedcoatGreenjacket said:
RedcoatGreenjacket said:
Smudge67, i would say that you are probably growing up a bit and finding your own identity or identity that you relate to. You obviously like the finer things in life.

Be concerned when you buy a Burberry shell suit and listen to drum and bass.

Then be afraid.

RCGJ Psychoanalyst.
Smudge, perhaps i mean dressing your age. But Put the cords down stand back and leave the shoppe!

RCGJ
Well...I've not had the urge to purchase cords yet! Thankfully!
When you do my ver well healed friend, one must ensure they are burgundy :lol:
 
#17
I went through the stage where I started becoming a Toff Walt ... began to worry whether my chin would start to recede. Then it all went wrong.

Now I find myself slowly turning into some kind of Arthur Daley caricature. I have two staffordshire bull terriers, drive an old Jag, have a card for a cash and carry and even own a trilby FFS!

I'm desperately worried that when I go round the 'Winchester' to watch the football, I'm going to start saying things like 'gertcha cow son' and 'Not fer me Dave, must be oorf darn the frog an' toad or 'er indoors won't stop rabbiting'.

Help!
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#18
Do you buy your own furniture?
 
#19
Dont worry: your quite safe ...a "stockman" jacket???? Sir I rest my case .
 
#20
bugout said:
Dont worry: your quite safe ...a "stockman" jacket???? Sir I rest my case .
I would take your comment seriously, but since you can't spell, or use punctuation properly, you clearly are in no position to comment :)
 

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