Am I the only one you've slept with?

Whining Civvy

War Hero
On the evening on their wedding day, Mr and Mrs Newlywed were lying in bed together having had their first marital roll between the sheets. As she lay in his embrace, Mrs Newlywed nuzzled his chest and said, "Darling, I think we should start our marriage in the manner in which we mean to continue it. I'm going to ask you a personal question and I want you to answer with complete honesty. I promise I won't get upset with the answer if I don't like it, but I really need to know. Am I the only one you've slept with?" Her freshly minted husband, considerate of his new wife's sensitive feelings, thought carefully about this and answered, "Sweetheart, I will place my hand over my heart, and with God as my witness, I swear upon all that is Holy in this life and the next, you are the only one I've ever slept with". As the smile began to slowly spread across her face, he added: "All the rest were nine or tens".
 
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On the evening on their wedding day, Mr and Mrs Newlywed were lying in bed together having had their first marital roll between the sheets. As she lay in his embrace, Mrs Newlywed nuzzled his chest and said, "Darling, I think we should start our marriage in the manner in which we mean to continue it. I'm going to ask you a personal question and I want you to answer with complete honesty. I promise I won't get upset with the answer if I don't like it, but I really need to know. Am I the only one you've slept with?" Her freshly minted husband, considerate of his new wife's sensitive feelings, thought carefully about this and answered, "Sweetheart, I will place my hand over my heart, and with God as my witness, I swear upon all that is Holy in this life and the next, you are the only one I've ever slept with". As the smile began to slowly spread across her face, he added: "All the rest were nine or tens".

Conquests are like a ten year driving record. They all fall off and don’t exist anymore.
 
I always say and believe in this: when men say a number of "conquests" make it half of that, and when women say it, double it. My thumb rule.
 
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I always say and believe in this: when men say a number of "conquests" make it half of that, and when women say it, double it. My thumb rule.
Divide by a factor of 3, and for females multiple by a factor of 2.5 to 5 depending on the lady/slag.
 
On the evening on their wedding day, Mr and Mrs Newlywed were lying in bed together having had their first marital roll between the sheets. As she lay in his embrace, Mrs Newlywed nuzzled his chest and said, "Darling, I think we should start our marriage in the manner in which we mean to continue it. I'm going to ask you a personal question and I want you to answer with complete honesty. I promise I won't get upset with the answer if I don't like it, but I really need to know. Am I the only one you've slept with?" Her freshly minted husband, considerate of his new wife's sensitive feelings, thought carefully about this and answered, "Sweetheart, I will place my hand over my heart, and with God as my witness, I swear upon all that is Holy in this life and the next, you are the only one I've ever slept with". As the smile began to slowly spread across her face, he added: "All the rest were nine or tens".
Are you here all week?

Friday already? Oh dear, never mind :applaud:
 
Divide by a factor of 3, and for females multiple by a factor of 2.5 to 5 depending on the lady/slag.
Funny story: I actually introduced my ex (the one before the last one) to Tinder and she was reluctant to use it (didn't even know what it was - Italian) but soon she started shagging guys left and right....and would tell me about it....I guess to get me out of the system.
 
Funny story: I actually introduced my ex (the one before the last one) to Tinder and she was reluctant to use it (didn't even know what it was - Italian) but soon she started shagging guys left and right....and would tell me about it....I guess to get me out of the system.
Are you going to post the punchline later?
 
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Funny story: I actually introduced my ex (the one before the last one) to Tinder and she was reluctant to use it (didn't even know what it was - Italian) but soon she started shagging guys left and right....and would tell me about it....I guess to get me out of the system.
The perks of marriage, tonight is date night at the Office Bar and Grill.

Tinder was a revolution that I have missed out on completely.
 
Which can be great fun, but won’t pass the mom test.
There are a hell of a lot of guys that wouldn't pass the so called Dad test either.
 
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There are a hell of a lot of guys that wouldn't pass the so called Dad test either.
True, but FILs tend to mellow out after a few years is doing push-ups on their daughter and giving them grandkids.
 

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