Am I that boring?

#1
Tonight, my dearest love and I were out having a meal. Half way through one of my bestest and most scintillating dits, she abruptly leant over and used the table-candle to set her head on fire. Are my dits that shite? :(
 
#3
1. McDonald's is not a meal.
2. A brazier is not a candle.
3. Setting her head on fire does not seem a drastic escape method, especially if it was the one you tell about how you had to endure serial buggery as a baby sailor. Your last date had the problem with arson, so at least this one is self-igniting.
 

Auld-Yin

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#4
That's terrible Berni - especially as you had specifically asked for a non-smoking table :lol:
 
#5
I find your tales of derring do and derring don't quite stimulating.

Right can't hang around here theres a documentary about linen dying on Cable TV.
 
#7
bernoulli said:
Tonight, my dearest love and I were out having a meal. Half way through one of my bestest and most scintillating dits, he abruptly leant over and used the table-candle to set his head on fire. Are my dits that shite? :(
:lol:

Why not try a mong next time, Cuts swears by them.
 
#8
Does she suffer from Narcolepsy berny? Whilst this disroder is unfortunate it is also very funny watching a sufferer conk out in the pub in the middle of telling you a joke. Throwing their pint on them seems to wake them - perhaps you could try that with your beloved frogmella

:wink:
 
#9
Bern took a mong out before ... one of his prized stable .... he never noticed she was going to sleep because her head dobber used to keep her upright if she slumped forwards

and he used to like the way she/it gazed lovingly at him (or a point 6 inches behind his head) as the moonlight glistened on the trail of saliva dangling from her slack jaw.
 

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