Am I paranoid?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Biscuits_Brown, Oct 11, 2006.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I met this here female person of the opposite gender on Sunday night in t'boozer. Was in same boozer again last evening when mucker's GF persuaded me to ring her and ask her to go on like...a "date".
    Being somewhat pished I did and she said "aye" like. Result.

    Here's the thing.

    She has quite a distinctive accent, I like it, but I could swear that for the first couple of overs on the phone... Till she established who I was.. That the accent was lacking.

    Should I do her?
    Am I paranoid?
  2. Yes and Yes, hope it helps.....................................
  3. Yes
  4. Biscuits what sort of accent, posh, southern Irish or geordie?

    If you think it may have been welsh, say hello to Pentwyn for me!
  5. Just do her.
  6. Irish, soft south west. One of the one's that actully floats my boat.
  7. a. of course you should
    b. of course you are
  8. A rides a ride mate - go for it.
  9. Stop being a beefer and do her
  10. What are you paranoid about?

    Only be paranoid if the accent turns out to be a male one and she has hands like a Macclesfield brickie

    But still do it if offered, just keep schtm about it afterwards
  11. You have obviously slotted her brother/father/grandfather on a previous NI tour when she was a little girl, the images of which have haunted her to this day. Further into your relationship she will suggest a bondage game in which you will be tied to the bed. When you are secured by the handcuffs she just "happens" to have in her bedside drawer, whatever members of her extended family you left alive will jump out of the wardrobe dressed as Batman and sodomise you with a very extensive range of large unlubricated vegetables they have devoted themselves to growing since the fateful day "Dat fookin' Brit murdered our Seamus". In short, yes, you are paranoid, but with very good reason.
  12. I've never let anyone tie me up, even the the thought actually does it for me. Principly because I'd spend the whole time waiting for the straight razor coming out of the bedside drawer.

    Anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die is to be carefully watched.

    Well, I'm meeting her tomorrow evening, will try and be slightly more sober than I was Sunday (or indeed last night on the phone) and report.
  13. Cork, possibly?

    Yes that would float my boat as well, just do it Biscuits and report back!
  14. Do her and to put the accent thing to rest as you are taking her form behind stick your thumb in the wrong / right hole. Any pretend accent will disappear as she shouts in surprise / anger. If she says nothing then your in my son and the accent is then irrelevant .. :wink:
  15. I was going to say much the same thing - especially when she has a mouth full of engorged man meat.