I know what the problem is.
Awol has gone and got himself very drunk on cheap Calvados, smuggled from France after the invasion.
He has then staggered onto a train ,found himself in Wetherspoons and has had an under the table blow job by a 2 Bob hooker who has skimmed his wallet while attempting to find his tiny winky.
Awol has passed out in a puddle of piss after getting home and collapsing after his first sexual encounter for 5 years.
Some of us just call that 'Friday'.