Am I an unreasonable parent ?

[CptDanjou]

16 year old daughter wants to go to the big smoke on a public coach with mates , stop in a rented dive and see a band then come back the next day , there`s five others all 16/17 allegedly going , I`ve said no way , its not that I don`t trust her or her mates I just despise how London ticks, most of its residents and are fully aware of what goes on , your thoughts gentlemen and ladies.

(Offers to put her up for the night will be met with the contempt they deserve)

 

[devexwarrior]

Let her go, but don't stop worrying. It's what we do. FFS I'm 53 and my Mum is 89 and she STILL worries about me, my job and always ends every phone call with...Drive carefully....

 

[tiger stacker]

Trust goes a long way, however compromise can lead to mistrust. @Poppy is local so can advise on the locals better

 

[CptDanjou]

As I said I do trust her and her mates to behave, its just the abundance of scum in the city and the kids lack of street knowledge that worries me.

 

[Effendi]

I fully understand mate. Why not compromise, take the Mrs up for a weekend, see a show and that way you'll know she is safe, stick a tracker app on her phone too, discuss with other parents to get their support as they are probably apprehensive too.

Look at the racist BS we've just had with ours in Leicester, who'd have thought - not me.

 

[lokiuk]

I guess you can't pretend to like the band in question and manage to go along so let her go, just make sure she contacts you regularly

I know it's tough having a daughter but how is she going to get street wise unless you give her some slack ?

 

[Archibald]

Best thing is get on your scruffs and join them for the weekend, job done

Archie

 

[CptDanjou]

I would join them but she just sprung it on me plus theres other crap to sort out at home.

 

[LJONESY]

16 year old daughter wants to go to the big smoke on a public coach with mates , stop in a rented dive and see a band then come back the next day , there`s five others all 16/17 allegedly going , I`ve said no way , its not that I don`t trust her or her mates I just despise how London ticks, most of its residents and are fully aware of what goes on , your thoughts gentlemen and ladies.

(Offers to put her up for the night will be met with the contempt they deserve)

Nope, I would say hell fecking no.

 

[Bagl0ck]

Nope, I would say hell fecking no.

You're not one of the spams who believes all the guff about Sharia patrols in LDN, I hope?

 

[CptDanjou]

You're not one of the spams who believes all the guff about Sharia patrols in LDN, I hope?

Fcuk Off.

 

[smartascarrots]

Being unreasonable is a major part of being a parent. If you're not, you're not doing your job.

Unfortunately, another major part of being a parent is raising them to know how to look after themselves and then having to trust them to do it. If you trust her and her pals, make sure they've got the logistics sorted and then trust them to look after each other.

 

[Drazyl]

16 year old daughter wants to go to the big smoke on a public coach with mates , stop in a rented dive and see a band then come back the next day , there`s five others all 16/17 allegedly going , I`ve said no way , its not that I don`t trust her or her mates I just despise how London ticks, most of its residents and are fully aware of what goes on , your thoughts gentlemen and ladies.

(Offers to put her up for the night will be met with the contempt they deserve)

You have to let them grow up at some time. As others have suggested, try to be within responding distance.

 

[Emcon Ecomcon]

Make it clear you aren't happy, but give her enough wiggle room to make it ultimately her decision... You have showed you care and that is all you can do. If something goes awry, then you pickup the pieces and its unconditional love with the little monkeys.

 

[Condottiere]

As per @smartascarrots . At the age she is, you have probably given her a good grounding already. Be sure to know where she is and have her check in with you at a set time.

 

[Troy]

Have you spoken with the other parents? Have they agreed to this already? It could even be that plans aren't set yet and the numbers could be fewer. Do you know the venue and where the overnight stay is? Will the coach take them right there? Does she get tickets on the door or in advance? Etc, etc.

Getting some intel on this trip and the gig/venue/promotor is your first step.

Anyway, all parents are unreasonable, it's part of the job.

 

[Old Stab]

Which bit of London.

 

[CptDanjou]

Being unreasonable is a major part of being a parent. If you're not, you're not doing your job.

Unfortunately, another major part of being a parent is raising them to know how to look after themselves and then having to trust them to do it. If you trust her and her pals, make sure they've got the logistics sorted and then trust them to look after each other.

Its the hyenas that patrol London that are my concern , the kids were all bought up in a rural area and not very streetwise , she goes to parties and watches bands locally and stops over at mates houses but theres always parents in the background , if someone told me their 16 year old daughter had been attacked/raped/drugged when they went to London for the night my first thought would be "You are a fcuking idiot for letting her go".

 

[CptDanjou]

Which bit of London.

Dare not ask now as it will appear I`m considering it.

 

[CptDanjou]

You have to let them grow up at some time. As others have suggested, try to be within responding distance.

We live 200+ miles away.