Am I a horrible man?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by DISCOS, Aug 7, 2005.

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  1. Ladies and Gents, I would like some feed back from an incident that happened this weekend.
    One of my colleagues has told me that I am a horrible horrible man; I disagree and felt like I should try and get some support from the vast experienced, always ready to help arrse members..........

    I am ex military working as a civilian for NATO, were I work there are limit chances to empty my bollock gravy except with Pa(l)m and her five sisters. Now a young, quite sweet but slightly psycho RAF girl had taken my fancy, talked a little and ended up bumping uglys with her in her room.
    Being the gentleman that I am worked hard to ensure that she came first, letting her choose the positions etc, after she came, I thought right now its my turn lets get this baby batter out of my sack and get some sleep, but oh no. She turns over and decides to tell me "I’m to tired" and "sort yourself out, I’m going to sleep"
    Now Gents I know that the majority of the male population, especially squaddies and ex squaddies have done this more than to the female population than they have to us, but what the fukc!!!!
    Not knowing what to say I let Pa(l)m and her sibling take over and spoffed all over her back. I then got dressed (while she started saying a few strong words), went for a smoke, went to sleep in my room.
    Now I thought that would be the end of the story, I told the lads (who are also ex military) and after laughing, said that I’m going to have to find another issued arse warrior to release my man fat into and one of them said that I was a horrible man, I was taken back by this.
    Am a wrong? Am I a horrible man? Or did I do the only respectable thing.
  2. After sniggering for a few moments & muttering "Well done that girl!" I have to say that I don't see anything wrong with your course of action either. She should have kicked you out the moment she told you to sort yourself out - as it is she's lucky you didn't release your muck into her hair! :D :lol:
  3. I was the one that said he is a horrible man and no doubt next week he will be back there for some more. Hopefully he will manage to come before she does. She is that small that after he shoots his muck he can turn her upside down and carry her like a six pack, lob her out in the corridor and hope she has forgotten her keys to her room. Then say that will teach you ya beeeeeaaaatch.

    10 out of 10 DISCOS

  4. I believe the in the bed room law on this one is,

    The race winner (her in this case) decides the runner up (you in this case) prize.

    You have previously stated she came first then decided you should fuff off, if the poll position had been reversed would you have carried on until the lady was satisfied? You've hinted that in the past that wouldn't have happened, so you are a bad man.

    You should take her to a long well used corridor, apologise loudly then allow her to slam the door of her choice that has your tool wedged in the hinged side.

    It's the only way I can see of you actually redeeming your soul. Go on you'll feel better for it. :D

  5. You should have growled at her when she told you to stop.

    This would have frightened her and because she doesn't know you all that well and put a doubt into her mind about her safety.

    If this still didn't work, stove the left side of her face in with half a house brick and continue anyway.
  6. First off to DB, I actually thought about blowing my load into her hair, I also thought about curling one off in her locker but thought better of it.
    Secondly to Beebs I think that to get my todger slammed in the door abit over the top, I think I will carry on the time honoured traditon of shooting my muck, farting and fcuking off, my soul is clear (well sort of)
    Thirdy Senor Taz, thanks for the words of encouragment as you know she thanked me for a good night the next day, although she did have trouble getting out of the chair ha ha
    I think tabasco and vas are in order next time and we all know what that means woo hoo

    P.S. Beebs I know that Im a bad man, but does it make me a "horrible, horrible man"?
  7. Your my hero MDN will try that next (?) time
  8. This is just daft MDN, where on earth is he gonna get a house brick from in this situation :roll: In this situation you should gag her woth her tights, put a pillow case over her head and beat her with a boot. Ok it'll take a bit longer and be a tad messier but hopefullt the pillowcase would take the majority of the blood and the end result would be achieved.
  9. No, the contract was to allow you both to have sexual fulfilment and she reneged, you didn't force her or try to pressurise her, you simply shot your muck all over her back as a pay back statement.

    You’re not a horrible, horrible man, you're just a sh*t sh*g and she knew it! ;)

  10. Obviously this is where the forward planning comes in, it should be in the small black holdall he carries with the gaffer tape, bayonet/bowie knife, jason style hockey mask and the chloroform.
  11. We've all met a few of those, but i've always let them finish before kicking them out. I'm obviously too soft. Time to change.
  12. Beebs, seem to be taking this a bit personal, has this happened to you or you just playing hard to get ha ha ;)
  13. No I'm just defending your right to be sh*t and to get your plums off :D

    Even crap lays need loving too. ;)

    Next time tell her the jockey's only as good as the horse he's riding!

  14. Personally, I think this is a classic example of why you should never give a woman an orgasm. You should get in there, deliver the statutory ten seconds of ecstasy, spuff then gonk. Mission complete.

  15. Deeply worrying. YOU ARE NOT A HORRIBLE MAN........ but you must get a grip with this guilt thing.... never helps. Dr Pomps recomends strips of duck tape pre applied to inside of ones jacket for ease of aplication. Duck tape is as we all know the undisputed fixer of situations. In future carry the prescribed CES. BTW.... hair would have been the better dump site!