Am cashing in my chips

#1
Right enough, its time to top myself....

Not sure hwo to get out of the predicament I'm in so have decided to off myself.

Am sat in the front room with my lap top on, funnily enough my lap and the Jeremy Kyle show has just had me blubbing, a real tear too.

Not the usual pikey cack but about family tragedy, one where a woman had to tell her little girl that daddy was never coming home and another where a baby had been swung by its ankles and bashed against a wall until dead (Granted that made me giggle for a minute) but afterwards when I pictured, (I chortled a bit again) then started to get a bit of dust in my eye.

What do I do, I deserve to die for having that twat on in the first place but for him to be able to extract an emotion other than ultra violence from me should surely require punishment and a close looking at.

I offer my future to you cnuts
 
#2
MDN
where as i usually respect everything you write on here, the simple fact that you had jeremy kyle knowingly on tv means that i can no longer take you seiously, and therefore don't believe for one second that you'll be topping yourself!!


edited for spacker spelling
 
#3
Who is Jeremy Kyle??! The fact you even know who this person is is enough! Seriously though, who is he?...
 
#4
you have to wear an 'I LOVE JEREMY KYLE' t-shirt, go and watch Swan Lake the ballet,IN FULL and without saying a single swear word or getting a lob-on when the men in tights leap on,,and you have to be nice to SLRBoy all week.......nah,bugger it,its too hard,but if you're going to top yourself do it on webcam so we can all watch!
 
#6
I'm watching that now, you would need a heart of stone not to be saddened by it but you know by looking at the stupid mare and her choice of life partners that life will always be one long soap opera for her. Dumb bitch!
 
#8
MDN... Really Jeremy Kyle.... ahh I'm so disappointed! Have just got bored of your twisted, up an animals hoop / Bondage that bleeds porn collection?

Anyway much as I love you (In a non gay respectful kind of way) - DO IT, listen to the voices!
 
#9
Chavs all over the world will be copycatting and lobbing their kids at the walls.
 
#10
minister_doh_nut said:
Chavs all over the world will be copycatting and lobbing their kids at the walls.
we can only hope

will save us a fortune in paying the chavs child credit
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
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#11
MDN - you know what a helpful chap I am so if you tell us how you intend slipping off your mortal coil then I would gladly be os assistance.

If you intend slashing your wrists I can ensure the knife is properly sharpened. If you want to hang yourself I can supply good stout rope at little charge. As a bonus I will hold the end of the rope to ensure your twitching body does not quite touch the floor.

I would suggest that you don't try shooting yourself ans, knowing you, you would probably miss.

Hope I can be of servicfe to you in this hour of need.

Yours

AY
 
#12
If you're going to do it, be original for Christs sake. There's a lot of this 'topping one's self on webcam' business and I for one would like to see some new direction.

Jeremy Kyle btw, does a good public service. He reminds the watcher of just how bad things can get if you are a chav. I'm happy in the knowledge that if I wake up one morning as a lesbian single mother of my uncle's baby, he'll tell me what to do.
 
#13
I don't think MDN will learn his lesson by topping himself.

How about as a savage punishment he has to go round to the chavs who watch this type of daytime drivel and explain his empathy with their plight of not working and not getting enough hand-outs off the state!!

after that i'm sure he'd think again about watching it!!
 
#14
Not that I'm encouraging you to do it, but...

Extreme circumcision, start at the c0ck and slice backwards?

Hanging around a Colchester garrison kids school with a shirt stating "I'm a Pedo, a Hat, and I'm half way through this lot"???

Or you could fly out to iraq and try suicide bombing (see how they like it).
 
#16
milsum said:
MDN, have you ever thought of presenting a daytime television chat show?
now THAT would be worth staying in bed for,wearing Burberry jim-jams and eating Lidl jam on white plastic bread toast,whilst supping a chipped mug of Happy Shopper tea!!!
 
#17
"Stephen Milligan MP" - He knew how to go in style, think you could take some pointers from him MDN.

As you will be leaving a wife and young child perhaps you could see fit to send me the child by recorded delivery (air holes optional) before you shuffle off this mortal coil.

MDN will no longer pine for the fjords, he is an ex-perv
 
#18
bigbird67 said:
milsum said:
MDN, have you ever thought of presenting a daytime television chat show?
now THAT would be worth staying in bed for,wearing Burberry jim-jams and eating Lidl jam on white plastic bread toast,whilst supping a chipped mug of Happy Shopper tea!!!
so how come your so spot on with my morning routine?

Kinda explains the black helicopter now. init!

MDN do the show my life would be complete!!
 
#19
crabby said:
"]perhaps you could see fit to send me the child by recorded delivery (air holes optional)
Why, so you can wonder were it came from you virgin fcuk

Auld yin, if I needed your assistance in anything other than advice on which nappy and day centre to choose I'd have been suicidal for a lot longer.

I've just emailled him

Jeremy

I was exceptionally moved by your show this afternoon, its not normally my kind of viewing but the way you cashed in on the grieving families, even offering up some onion induced tears also moved me to form the odd blob in my orbs.

I was so moved I decided to pick up my own infant to see if death could be achieved by a single lob against a brick wall.

Tell the fat whore she is a liar, I am 6'3 and it took me three goes before the last breath was exhaled and I can hurl an infant alot harder then she ever could.

I am particularly interested in mocking victims of hideous crime, so if you ever present a show like that I would like to be in the audience.

Yours, in my leopardskin racing leotard
MDN
I do hope I get a responce
 

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