Alzheimers. An exit strategy sign-up thread

Discussion in 'The Lamp and Sandbag II - The Tall Story Strikes B' started by TheIronDuke, Mar 24, 2009.

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  1. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    So, before the young PC Cadre start, me dear old Na-Na died with Alzheimers. She ended up bats, but she watches my left shoulder and if you want to fuck with me Na-Na, you are a braver man than me. Which aint hard, lets face it.


    How fab is that? You regress to your childhood, hot and cold running nurses administer your every need, and you can do what you want, for once in your life. If you need to take a shit, you simply relax and go "Ahhhhhhhh"

    Does anybody know where we can sign up to Alzheimers?
  2. Yes. Just keep licking your mess tins clean.
  3. Is this one of those " I just want to make a name for myself by trying too hard to be shocking" threads?

    Do you have ADD? Or whatever it's called when you're worried people aren't paying you enough attention?

    Clue : You can be big and funny and make a Naafi name for yourself, by being big and funny. You're not even close.
  4. I'm seeing letters, sort of all jumbled up and put together in groups, but I'm still none the wiser. Oh, I get it; you're a d1ck.
  5. Fcuking tool.
  6. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    No Part Time. It is not. If I wanted to make a name for myself, I'd have named myself.

    Er, not so far as I am aware. I have been accused of being a disruptive influence before now, but they never nicked me for it.

    I am not worried.

    Dont you worry

    I was not trying to be funny Pongo. Just trying to open up a discussion about Alzhhemers, and the subjective view of the illness.

    Sorry if I upset you. Such was not my intent. Alzheimers is something that may concern people posting here in Old & Bold. Sorry if we got off on the wrong foot, innit?

    Now, moving on...

    Alzheimers. Its in the post, eh?

    I cant help but feel I shall handle it better than some.
  7. You probably already have mate, and you don't have to wait until your old to suffer from it.
  8. Too late matey. Ernest Saunders got there before you.:

    (For our younger readers:

    Ernest is the only man ever to have recovered from pre senile dementia.

    Following a spot of unpleasantness involving false accounting, theft, and dishonest conduct in a share support operation whilst CEO of Guinness plc, our man appealed against his sentence of five years in and got that down to two and a half.

    However, the court was satisfied that Saunders was suffering from pre-senile dementia associated with Alzheimer's disease, which is of course incurable. Thus our man staggered out of nick a wretched and dribbling physical and mental wreck unable to perform the most basic tasks having served only 10 months of his sentence.

    Happily, he soon fully recovered from the symptoms which had led to the diagnosis and went on to act as consultant to Carphone Warehouse, become chairman of the executive committee of Harpur-Gelco and become involved with an investment comany in the Cayman Islands.

    When last heard of he was spending his retirement between his homes in Putney & Chichester and a skiing lodge in Switzerland.)
  9. Yeah, of course you did :roll:

    Then try not to open the batting by being a c0ck. This isn't the Naafi Bar.
  10. I'll assume that there is some room for sensible discussion here. My stepmother's mother had Alzheimers. She was away with the fairies a lot of the time but would have moments of lucidity when it was quite obvious that she knew she was going round the bend and was considerably distressed by it. She was looked after by her elderly and frail husband for the last 5 years of her life. He suffered greatly because it was physically as well as emotionally demanding looking after someone who had no control over body functions and who hadn't a clue who he was for much of the time, his devotion was complete. He died just 2 days after his beloved wife.
  11. You are clearly a plonker of the first order and know nothing about Alzheimer’s. People who suffer from it, CAN'T handle it, they lose control of there minds causing memory lose, personality changes, hallucinations with occasion bouts of lucidity which result in them tormenting themselves with paranoia, anger and frustration, in other words they suffer mental health issues caused by a disease of the brain.

    They don't just revert to a wonderful childhood and wait for their nappy to be changed.

    If you want to start a debate try switching a brain cell on before you lose them all.
  12. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Yeah, all right. Consider me chastised. A flip start to a serious discussion.

    Having been with me Na-Na through Alzheimers, I noted a couple of points.

    She was fine so long as you went along with her fantasy (she regressed to her childhood, and greeted me with her brothers name).

    If I answered to the name 'Bob' (her brother) anb chatted about fixing the fence on the pullet cage, she was fine.

    She wasnt fine when somebody pointed out her fantasy. She got distressed

    So it occurs to me that Alzheimers aint so bad, so long as you are left alone in your own world.

    Many people reading this will have experience of a loved one who went bats with Alzheimers. I aint starting. I just got off on the wrong foot.

    Not for the first time.
  13. Last week I went to the funeral of Ricky Oliver.

    Ricky was a NS 2Lt with the Royal Signals and played Scrum Half for Corps and Army (when Shuttleworth was playing for England).

    After National Service he became a Dentist in East Durham.

    Ricky was the life and soul of any party he was at, and though quite small in height he dominated any room he was in. He was charming and fun and in his younger days a great one for getting into scrapes.

    Rick started going Alzy a few years ago. To see him go from what he was to what he became was quite painful, and utterly devastating for his family. It's not just the illness it is the indignity that goes with it.

    Alzheimers - give me a heart attack anyday.
  14. Having watched my mother's dreadful decline courtesy of Mr A I can only agree.

    Eat chips, drink whisky, have a wild life and pop off a few years early.

    Alternatively you can eat wisely and do a lot of good healthy exercise and as a result last an extra six months in a nursing home costing your relatives £600 a week.

    Mine's a large one.

  15. Just a little levity about a dreadful condition from an old soldier ... as the old saying goes... "I'd rather have Parkinsons than Alzheimers..... at least I could remember where I left my pint even if I did spill half of it"