Alumnus of James Shortt Small Arms Driving Course caught

#2
Quite an amazing feat of driving though the sat nav touch screen and the finger tip controls on the CD player were somewhat wasted on him.
 
#3
I understand the interview under caution did not go too well for the accused

Sarge: "Might I inquire why you left your prosthetic hands at home"

Accused: "Jimbo training. Avoid leaving finger prints see"

Sarge: "And did this Jimbo train you in any other techniques"

Accused: "Unprotected sex"

Experienced constable by door with yawn "I think the accused is referring to Jimbos well known negligent discharge aspects of his curriculum sarge"

Sarge: "Thanks I see. And did you learn Jimbo ju jitsu"

Accused: "Part of it but I had to stop at empi strikes"
 
#4
In one area, however, John Smith was lacking - he had no arms.
I think his parents were lacking something as well.

Imagination. :roll:
 
#6
Two of the other gang members, who also admitted burglary, were jailed. A third, who had sat in court sucking his thumb, was spared prison.
He shouldn't suck his thumb.

Look what happened to John Smith. :wink:
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#7
One has to wonder at the wit of his accomplices.

Jim "Right, we are going to do a blag'n'sh!t yeah?"

Muppet "Izzit!"

Shortt "We need a geeza to drive da motor innit!"

Jim "Hoodatt gunna b den?"

James "I'll drive da motor dough innit?"

Jim "Yeah, but u got no arms'n'shit dough bruv - no disrepekt or naffink, but u no wot I mean dough innit?"

James "Well, I karnt break de fakkin shop windows dough can oi? No arms innit!"

Shortt "Yeah, but he got a point dough innit - he karnt 'old no 'ammer, can 'e"

Jim "Course, didn't fink of dat DOH innit! Alright bruv, you drive da car den"
 
#8
He's somewhat unlucky this John Smith.

Before the heist they drew lots for who should receive what.

He got the rings.
 
#9
Was this an Armed Robbery.....

Ok i'll get my coat
 
#10
Muffin_Kicker said:
Was this an Armed Robbery.....

Ok i'll get my coat
Just light fingered.

Or should that be fingers light?
 
#11
Apparantly the Peelers in Traffic Branch had awful difficulty in cuffing Smiff when they scooped the wee scrotes at Blackwall Tunnel after the high speed pursuit.
 
#12
"Two of the other gang members, who also admitted burglary, were jailed. A third, who had sat in court sucking his thumb, was spared prison."


I'm guessing that wasn't the driver then? Snigger!!
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#13
bigbird67 said:
"Two of the other gang members, who also admitted burglary, were jailed. A third, who had sat in court sucking his thumb, was spared prison."


I'm guessing that wasn't the driver then? Snigger!!
Of course not - he is not old enough to hold a driving licence. Do you want him to get into trouble with the traffic cops? 8)
 
#15
Killaloe said:
The only reason that the Judge did not give Smiff a custodial is that he had his LSGCM and unblemished service in the SASC !

Shame he never made WO2.
 
#17
Killaloe said:
Smiff was a 'dab hand' at loading magazines but was 'stumped' when it came to zeroing sights.
He was never all fingers and thumbs.
 
#19
Killaloe said:
Thats a very 'off the cuff' remark Mistersoft ! :D
:lol: And hopefully he'll get more than a slap on the wrist.
 

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