Alumnus of James Shortt Small Arms Driving Course caught

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by knockknee, Sep 19, 2009.

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  1. Quite an amazing feat of driving though the sat nav touch screen and the finger tip controls on the CD player were somewhat wasted on him.
  2. I understand the interview under caution did not go too well for the accused

    Sarge: "Might I inquire why you left your prosthetic hands at home"

    Accused: "Jimbo training. Avoid leaving finger prints see"

    Sarge: "And did this Jimbo train you in any other techniques"

    Accused: "Unprotected sex"

    Experienced constable by door with yawn "I think the accused is referring to Jimbos well known negligent discharge aspects of his curriculum sarge"

    Sarge: "Thanks I see. And did you learn Jimbo ju jitsu"

    Accused: "Part of it but I had to stop at empi strikes"
  3. I think his parents were lacking something as well.

    Imagination. :roll:
  4. It's a pseudonym.

    Not a good one, I must admit...........
  5. He shouldn't suck his thumb.

    Look what happened to John Smith. :wink:
  6. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    One has to wonder at the wit of his accomplices.

    Jim "Right, we are going to do a blag'n'sh!t yeah?"

    Muppet "Izzit!"

    Shortt "We need a geeza to drive da motor innit!"

    Jim "Hoodatt gunna b den?"

    James "I'll drive da motor dough innit?"

    Jim "Yeah, but u got no arms'n'shit dough bruv - no disrepekt or naffink, but u no wot I mean dough innit?"

    James "Well, I karnt break de fakkin shop windows dough can oi? No arms innit!"

    Shortt "Yeah, but he got a point dough innit - he karnt 'old no 'ammer, can 'e"

    Jim "Course, didn't fink of dat DOH innit! Alright bruv, you drive da car den"
  7. He's somewhat unlucky this John Smith.

    Before the heist they drew lots for who should receive what.

    He got the rings.
  8. Was this an Armed Robbery.....

    Ok i'll get my coat
  9. Just light fingered.

    Or should that be fingers light?
  10. Apparantly the Peelers in Traffic Branch had awful difficulty in cuffing Smiff when they scooped the wee scrotes at Blackwall Tunnel after the high speed pursuit.
  11. "Two of the other gang members, who also admitted burglary, were jailed. A third, who had sat in court sucking his thumb, was spared prison."

    I'm guessing that wasn't the driver then? Snigger!!
  12. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Of course not - he is not old enough to hold a driving licence. Do you want him to get into trouble with the traffic cops? 8)
  13. The only reason that the Judge did not give Smiff a custodial is that he had his LSGCM and unblemished service in the SASC !

  14. Shame he never made WO2.