Alternative Mission Verbs

#1
I am looking for non-doctrine words that sound doctrinal, like:

"I will ASTONISH the enemy by......."

"I will SPANK the enemy by......"

Also in the frame are words like 'envelope'

I will then issue a scorecard and award points for using them in briefs etc

C'mon ARRSE'rs lets get on it

Thanks :wink:
 
#2
I think most afficionados of doctrine and staff-speak are fully conversant with the current crop of (boring) mission verbs.

I think we need more descriptive verbs in order to allow our Commanders to more fully deliver effect.

So, how about 'Astonish' as in 'I intend to astonish the enemy by....'

Effects graphic:


Anymore for anymore, or is this just too sad for words? :)
 
#3
Heard on JOTAC:

My intention is to leave the enemy stretched and gaping.

Now, if I could only find that horrible picture which was circling the internet a few years ago (it was posted at http://www.goatse.cx, if memory serves me right).

msr
 
#4
Notwithstanding this is one of the more sober forums on ARRSE, I can't resist drawing your attention to certain of the words listed in the ARRSEPedia Dictionary.

Can you imagine how much more impressed the boys would be if you said, "I intend to Banjo the En by....."

Effects graphic:
 
#5
Some created a while ago. I believe there is one SO1 out there who believes that these are legitimate...

Astound: 'I will astound the enemy through the employment of shock action.'

Gravitas: 'I shall dislocate the enemy's sense of gravitas'.

Fecundity: '...will require robust BDA to interpret the fecundity of the ...'

Proprioception: 'I will undermine the enemy's proprioception by...'

Delaminate: 'I shall delaminate the enemy's logistics chain through the employment of air delivered kinetic effect'

Not at all doctrinally related but worth trying to slip into Falklands campaign analysis: Benidorm = sleeping area for Falkland Islanders.
 
#6
Threads merged due to 'theloggies' seeming inability to check first...

...thanks to the Shag's Bar crowd for the steer last night! :D
 
#7
D_D, if the intent is to:

issue a scorecard and award points for using them in briefs etc
Doesn't putting this on a public forum risk compromising the OPSEC of theloggie's plan?

You'll find them being delivered in CLs so as to keep the audience on tenterhooks, ticking each word off on their scorecards....

Theloggie's cunning plan may be subject to severe discombobulation by multiple order effects as a result. (Sorry... I'll go and flagellate myself with a copy of ADP Ops...)
 
#8
I like "Banjax", and have heard it applied to a tactical situation, but I would pay to hear Gen Jackson use it in a press conference :D
 
#9
The idea of 'astonishiong' the enemy conjures up a picture in my mind of Jonny Raghead stood with his mouth agape at some show of utter incompetence from his opponents before him. Falling over boot laces ? Forgetting to put trousers on before fixing bayonet ? Same-sex marriages ?
 
#11
Barclays_Banker said:
The idea of 'astonishiong' the enemy conjures up a picture in my mind of Jonny Raghead stood with his mouth agape at some show of utter incompetence from his opponents before him. Falling over boot laces ? Forgetting to put trousers on before fixing bayonet ? Same-sex marriages ?
I was actually thinking of completely non-kinetic measures, such as a magic show or feat of strength.

Of course, you could also have the GOC standing in front of his Division with his smock rolled up to his elbows, roaring like a lion as his armoured reserve swoop around in the background looking menacing.

The important thing is that his staff don't feel constrained when considering 'how' to resource an effect like 'astonish'. :)
 
#13
Abuse the enemy.
Rag the enemy.
Find, fix and fcuk the enemy.

OR...
Thrash the enemy.
As in "My intention sir, is next month to cross over into Spain, and give the French a damned good thrashing!!"
 
#15
I am fond of such classics as:

"1 section will get in there and mix it in order to take them out."


To the replies: " Mix it..........your not baking a cake!"
"Take them out..........to dinner!"
 
#17
buff them up?

msr
 
#18
I think "w@nker" should be used more as a verb. As in:

"My intent is to block the enemy on a line Highworth - Faringdon, and then w@nker him utterly"

Effects graphic:



(an RLC mover wheely thing would have been funnier, but I couldn't find one, soz crabs...)
 
#20
FluffyBunny said:
I intend to berate the enemy

I intend to deliver a 'kin good hoofing to the enemy

I intend to mesmerise the enemy

I intend to flabbergast the enemy

I intend to trounce the enemy

I intend to happy slap the enemy
"happy slap" may well become important in our media conscious times.
Resources required 1x Inf platoon, 1xBBC news crew (+6x hoody wearing chavs as advisors)
 

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