Alternate word meanings

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by LostBoss, Apr 7, 2005.

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  1. The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to
    its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate
    meanings for common words.

    The winners are:

    1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
    2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
    3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
    4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
    5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
    6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
    answer the door in your nightgown.
    7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
    8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
    9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are
    run over by a steamroller.
    10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
    11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
    12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
    proctologists.
    13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
    14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with
    Yiddishisms.
    15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your Soul
    flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
    16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
    Jewish men.
     
  2. Lolol, blindin!!!!