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Almonds are Bastards

Gave my OH a fancy nutcracker for Christmas, shaped like a large silver walnut with "teeth" inside which crack the nut, whilst keeping the fragments inside instead of showering them all over the living room. So far so good. We managed to scoff most of the walnuts, hazelnuts etc but were totally defeated by the almonds. Other than taking them outside and smashing them with a hammer, what is the easiest/safest way to deal with these bastards? Any advice, sensible or otherwise would be welcome!
Almonds split easiest if you stand them on edge lengthways and squeeze across the join.

But Auld-Yins advice is by far the best idea
Four at a time in a bench vice.

If you don't have a bench vice, try lining them up on your local railway line when the next train is due.
A vice works quite well, though time consuming, and you can stop just when the shell cracks rather than continuing and destroying the kernel!

Alternatively, I can get you 1kg bags from my work. Peeled and everything!
Thanks for the advice folks. Molegrips certainly seem like the way forward. To Auld Yin (ever the pragmatist), I'm not that desperate to EAT the almonds, the satisfaction of cracking the sods outweighs any eating pleasure :) Happy Hogmanay!

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