Allowing a Septic into the family?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Legs, Dec 22, 2011.

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  1. Dear Agony Arrse.

    My number one son (OK, my only son), he who is a Medic in some long forgotten part of BFG, who is an 18 year old, is in love. He has just announced to me that he is not only in love, but engaged! If that's not bad enough, she's a 20 year old Septic who has come over to spend Christmas with us. They met online and have spent the last week together, and now they want to marry.

    What should I do?

    (Deliberately placed in the NAAFI Bar)
  2. For a start, teach her table manners and how to spell.
    • Like Like x 6
  3. They met online? Oh dear, he's not an ugly lad. Is she very fat?
  4. Banish her to the shed. Then advise the son in the facts of septics and he may just see the light an bin it.

  5. She is a yank, of course she is fat.
    • Like Like x 1
  6. I didn't want to be impolite but maybe Legs needs to do an extra shop.
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  7. Just keep calling her a colonial, and keep chortling "ho ho ho". Apparently they think you're calling them a whore, or so my yank sister in law claimed. :-D
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  8. She's not fat, nor even fugly. She is loud though.
  9. 8 posts in and no one asks to see a pic of the woman with her puppies out? Fucking disgraceful.
    • Like Like x 14
  10. Check her underwear, if it's pink she's escaped from a prison in Phoenix!!!!.
  11. Carry a wooden spoon, keep saying 'getting loud dear' then whack it 'round back of its 'ead.
    • Like Like x 3
  12. Just make sure she's emptied the Class VI store on your behalf; can't have her visiting her new inlaws without suitable gifts.

    (Just a thought; the poor girl is aware of your particular circumstances, isn't she?)
  13. Ask her if she is from Canada...that may upset her enough to make her do one.

    and yes....where are the pics of this wench?
    • Like Like x 1
  14. She's American? It's a recognised disability you know.
  15. Oh dear! This cannot end well.
    A Septic engaged to a Hominy!!! The Horror! The Horror! Septics are.....erm... wait one... never mind

    (more serious note - should be OK unless the girl wears a hat or t-shirt with interlocking "NY" as a logo. It indicates affiliation with the New York Yankees, a sure sign of alignment with the forces of darkness and evil and probable Satanic influences)
    • Like Like x 2