Allah hates Muslims

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Proper_Gander, May 5, 2011.

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  1. it's true.

    after reading this BBC article i have reached the conclusion that Allah is the biggest con-man in the divine world.

    he doesn't like darkies, but instead of just killing them all he's playing games with them.

    "i'm your god! blow yourself up, you'll get virgins and stuff. i recommend doing it in a crowded area, like your local market" *snigger*

    "hey, why don't you fly a couple planes into buildings belonging to the greatest military power the world has ever seen! i promise you paradise i swear." *smirk*

    "have a sip of my holy water. it won't give you cancer at all or anything." *grin*

    i can just imagine him going down the pub to meet Zeus, Thor, God and his kid Jesus, after a long day baiting muslims: "guys you'll never believe what i got the braindead fucktards to do today! LOL"

    anymore examples of the divine playing games with us mere mortals?
  2. Allah = Emperor Mong's dad?
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  3. I hear the Devil plays a mean fiddle.
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  4. The devil doesn't exist, Keyser Söze told me so.
  5. They don't have it all bad. Judging by the amount of kids they have, at least 6 per couple,they must spend all day on the nest.
  6. Should this story not be kept under wraps?

    Surely it makes more sense to add more arsnic or worse to the well, encourage the drinking of Zam Zam and sit back and watch Islam slowly kill itself off

  7. How about Old God himself? "Yeah I've got this son see, born on 25th December, so I reckon you should buy everyone some presents or something ... or at least a chocolate advent calander".

    "Ah ... got some bad news ... he died ... I need you to buy some easter eggs".
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  8. What about how he makes ladies wear black sheets with slits in even when it's very hot, that's not nice.
  9. So Allah would be talking to himself then? or maybe even Yewah
  10. No but my shoulder aches a bit today. They must smell very bad in hot countries under those sheets.
  11. Jarrod raises a good point.

    "you live in one of the hottest parts of the world... i want you to wear this thick black carpet"

    here's another:

    "nah mate you go to hell if you have a bacon butty or a beer."

    if you want to be a filthy fucking pedant, do it properly.

    it's YAHWEH.

  12. And no pork sausage!!!
  13. Making both male and female genitals as aesthetically pleasing as roadkill must be a sick joke on God/Allah/Jehovah's part, and what the fuck is the male g-spot doing in the arse? Bastard's taking the piss!
  14. From the evidence, Allah hates everyone. The fucker does not give a toss about who gets killed in his name.
  15. Tickle tackle belong to Allah see