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Niamac

GCM
How to Maintain a Healthy Level Of Insanity in RETIREMENT...
Especially during these Covid times.

1.​
At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, point a hair dryer at passing cars and watch them slow down
2.​
On all your check stubs, write, "For Sexual favours"
3.​
Skip down the street rather than walk, and see how many looks you get. Only if you can!
4.​
With a serious face, order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat.
5.​
Sing along at The Opera.
6.​
When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!'
7.​
When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling, 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
8.​
Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go....'
9.​
Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity: My Favorite...
10.​
Go to a large Department store's fitting room, drop your drawers to your ankles and yell out, "There's no paper in here!"
 

TamH70

MIA
How to Maintain a Healthy Level Of Insanity in RETIREMENT...
Especially during these Covid times.

1.​
At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, point a hair dryer at passing cars and watch them slow down
2.​
On all your check stubs, write, "For Sexual favours"
3.​
Skip down the street rather than walk, and see how many looks you get. Only if you can!
4.​
With a serious face, order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat.
5.​
Sing along at The Opera.
6.​
When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!'
7.​
When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling, 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
8.​
Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go....'
9.​
Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity: My Favorite...
10.​
Go to a large Department store's fitting room, drop your drawers to your ankles and yell out, "There's no paper in here!"

Bastard! You had me choking on me tea with no. 10!
 

Ciggie

GCM
Nicked and posted on my facefuck page along with a description of my recent being taken to task for writing **** the French and my subsequent absolution with **** you Zuckerberg in capital letters. I know I started a dedicated thread about the senseless censorship that goes on on that ******* site but while I'm ranting, yesterday I posted the pic of a laydee baring her all to Scoobie and Shaggy on there, where nudity is taken ver ver seriously...no reaction..**** all, nada...******* mental.I may try the Don't Jew Wish Your Fuhrer Was Sexy Like Me ? one .....
 

Ciggie

GCM
Sure, why not. ‘English’ forenames are used a lot in Hong Kong, and here in U.K. in areas with lots of Chinese heritage.
Here’s a little story (sandbag and lamp time). As a young copper I went to a report of an affray. On me tod, on foot, notebook in hand.
Two young scrotes alleged they had been attacked by two Turkish guys.
Turned out the initial victims had tried their arms and attempted to rob the kebab shop they entered. Turkish guys vaulted the counter armed with knives and scared the crap out of them.
Two scrotes nicked, but kebab guys didn’t want to go to court. Hey-ho.
In a Chinese in Coventry once with my gf and her mate a quartet of pisshead lads turned up and were horsing around and being unpleasant to the staff. One of them started using the chopsticks at his place as drumsticks. The waiter politely asked if the cretin knew how to use them properly and proceeded to pick up a large and obviously quite heavy plate using chopsticks. The twats suddenly became remarkably civilised, or as close as they could manage. The power of suggestion....
 

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