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If it’s going to be a shoe shine boy, his dad is setting the worst example ever.
Oh!! . . . F.F.S. . . .

Don't mention "picking". And, certainly don't mention "cotton".

In the same sentence . . . or, this will go downhill, like the GP "F1" thread :( .
 
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Well, I'm in the hospital. This has not been a good day. After spending the last 3 months quarantined inside the house, limited contact with my family or friends since end of March ......enough is enough. So I decided to go for a horseback ride with a good friend. Something I haven't done for a long time. It turned out to be a horrible mistake! I got on the horse and I started out slowly, but then it got crazy windy. I went faster and faster and before I knew it, I was going as fast as that horse could go. I couldn't take the pace and fell off, but caught my pants on the stirrup. I was being dragged and was bouncing all over the place. The horse just would not stop!
Thankfully the manager at the supermarket came running out and unplugged the machine. Then he actually had the nerve to take the rest of my pound coins and my bottle of Tequila so I wouldn't try to ride the damn fire engine or clown car.
I have a few scrapes and bruises but nothing's broken. I will wear a helmet next time. ;)
 
Well, I'm in the hospital. This has not been a good day. After spending the last 3 months quarantined inside the house, limited contact with my family or friends since end of March ......enough is enough. So I decided to go for a horseback ride with a good friend. Something I haven't done for a long time. It turned out to be a horrible mistake! I got on the horse and I started out slowly, but then it got crazy windy. I went faster and faster and before I knew it, I was going as fast as that horse could go. I couldn't take the pace and fell off, but caught my pants on the stirrup. I was being dragged and was bouncing all over the place. The horse just would not stop!
Thankfully the manager at the supermarket came running out and unplugged the machine. Then he actually had the nerve to take the rest of my pound coins and my bottle of Tequila so I wouldn't try to ride the damn fire engine or clown car.
I have a few scrapes and bruises but nothing's broken. I will wear a helmet next time. ;)

Bloody hell...
 
Posted this elsewhere. Includes collectible, limited edition of original Ciggie artwork for you to print out and keep.

Who needs dope when you're in Spain ???

I know a nice spot in a park above and behind Barcelona. The park itself is almost deserted during the week but sees more people over the weekend. The spot itself is a sort of horseshoe-shaped dip, see crappy map attached. There are steps down to it, a raised area and then a drop of a couple of feet to the part where there is a very old trough full of water closely surrounded by three large lime trees. It is connected to a spring which is housed in a little building and has a press tap.. On the upper layer is a large table made from sculpted marble.

This morning I was there quite early...about 0900. It was deserted, just how I like it. I spread out some food for the birds on the edge of the water trough and sat down on the concrete bench along one side to have a nice breakfast spliff and a tin of Monster Green,watch the birds and enjoy the peace and quiet. Inevitably that didn't last long, and in quick succession a couple of girls in their 20s turned up and proceeded to establish themselves on a collection of rocks in cuboid cages off to the side and some young bloke in obligatory ****** costume...beard, shorts, t-shirt and rucksack ..and of couse mask..never mind we are in the fucken countryside, there isn't a police station for miles and I don't think the Gestapo have got round to stalking remote parks for mask offenders...yet. He comes over , gives me a Bon dia ( Catalan ) and planks himself between me and the spring. Starts rummaging around in his rucksack and proceeds to produce a collection of items...a ceramic soup bowl, a fridge ice-cube maker, a bit of jointed plastic plumbing and some other junk, which he then arrayed in a line from the spring ( in red on map). What the **** type of weirdo do we have here ? I was thinking when down the steps came a band of six young women...mingers one and all, various shapes and sizes of unsexiness, wearing the de rigeur clown-clothes the intellectually challenged love and one important addition..each one was wearing a different gaudily-coloured ballet tutu over their ordinary rags. They clearly knew beardy tosser...it quickly transpired to be one of these ******* stupid 'team building exercises', they had to get water from the spring to the bowl using the stuff available. Just as they started, almost on cue,a wild boar turned up...real pig meets near neighbours. Whilst pointedly not watching I mused about the condition of the human brain today... It is a perfectly lovely morning in an idyllic spot, flora and fauna to be enjoyed. What the **** are you doing and why? As for the stupid getups, in the middle of a park away from anywhere...this is a normal phenomenon of life today- the need to dress up because something is fun. Fun. I doubt whether many under the age of 40 would know what fun was if it jumped up and bit them on the arse. This behaviour is really 'lets pretend'..we know what we are doing is lame shite, but this is what we are supposed to do so it must be fun. Anyway, the boar strolled off with a look of disgust before they had finished, which they did and proceeded to bugger back off up the steps, so there must have been other 'activities' for them to do somewhere else, leaving beardoid to collect his stuff. I got up to go and dump my empty Monster can in a bin and he asked me ' Have you had that drink before?' My reply, pretty much true...'I drink it every day' toi which he looked genuinely surprised. The ******* presumptions that that question raised I have to deal with frequently among the mentally challenged youth of today, particularly in relation to dope, which they think they invented.
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Would have been easier to post a Google Maps satellite link
 

endure

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Smeggers

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Sexton Blake

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