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seaweed

LE
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Todd got his marching orders for foul language. Todd had his back to referee at the start of Cross Farm’s Sunday league game against Taunton East Reach Wanderers, and was startled by the force with which the whistle was blown for kick-off. “Fuck me, that was loud,” muttered Todd, and the referee promptly showed him the red card.
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Todd got his marching orders for foul language. Todd had his back to referee at the start of Cross Farm’s Sunday league game against Taunton East Reach Wanderers, and was startled by the force with which the whistle was blown for kick-off. “**** me, that was loud,” muttered Todd, and the referee promptly showed him the red card. View attachment 378546
Fastest was actually BEFORE the game in Saffer Premier League.
Teams turn up, see who the ref was, and the one players says 'Oh, F***, not that cnut again!'
Sadly, that cnut was standing nearby, and when he went to do the pre-match changeroom gig, showed a red card! Ref 'owns' the ground from when he arrives.
Fortunately the rules said they could still field 11 players
 
That reminds me of this old joke:

A long-retired French-Canadian Second World War pilot is telling school children about his days in the RCAF. "In 1942 the situation was very tough. The Germans 'ad a very strong air force. I remember, one day I was protecting the bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, several Fokkers appeared.

At this point, several of the children giggle.

"I looked up, and right above me was one of them. I aimed at 'im and shot 'im down. They were swarming. I immediately realised that there was another Fokker behind me."

At hearing the old man go on, the girls in the auditorium start to giggle and boys start to laugh openly. The teacher stands up and says, "I think I should point out that 'Fokker' was the name of an aircraft manufacturing company."

"Oui," says the ex-pilot, "but these Fokkers were flying Messerschmidts."
 
isn't that the joke that ruined Stan Boardmans career?
All of Stan Boardman's jokes ruined his career. He made a career out of ruining his career.
 

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