.... is to be spared Slade singing "Merry Christmas Everybody"
.....to have the shop assistant who is mute for the other 364 days of the year NOT wish me a Merry Christmas
......to not have every ancient relative in two families sit at my table like bl00dy vultures waiting to be fed
.......to not have Mrs Rickshaw say "are you going to have another drink?" in that "special" way
.........to avoid carol singers without recourse to laying a low wire entanglement around Rickshaw Manor
...........to not have a selection of God botherers tell me to practise peace on earth when it seems as though half the world is intent on stuffing me more than any turkey
..........to fall gently, alcoholically asleep and not wake up until the new year........
..............in case you hadn't guessed, I loathe the whole commercial, faux festive, saccharine-sweet, cliche-laden sentimental, sanctimonious bleedin' thing. Bah! Uber-humbug!!
Been there - done that but no T-shirt. Overnight only but really great. Got the fire in the main room so high no one could get within five foot. Kept sending pub dog out to check depth of snow - when it got deeper than jack russell tail we knew we were stranded.