All I want for Christmas is...... Whats on your list?

#1
Aside from the obvious choices such as World peace, £5 million, a huge mansion, Ferrari, 22 year old bisexual nymphomaniac coming to visit etc....


I would like:

A rapier...


Some white Linen napkins:


A new chassis for my Land Rover


Deer stalking rights over some land locally..



Some new duds.....:



(not sure the 22 year old nymph approves of me in tweed mind......)

What's on your list? :)
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#2
Some nice choices there. This year I shall be asking santa for some or all of the following:

The Irish bird from the Saturdays


A Panerai Watch


The Pink Floyd Pulse DVD


A Royal Enfield Motorcycle
 
#3
Sorry but that's the gayest wish list I've ever seen. White linen napkins?? Tweed suit? Bambi in your backyard? Please tell me you asked for the rapier to commit harakiri on Boxing Day. :wink:
 
#5
I've been rather struggling on this one. The Jade Dream asked me in November what I wanted for Christmas and I can't honestly think of anything I want or need. I'd be happy with a hearty meal with my family, my parents and sisters.

Of course, she could always full back on sex. It's the perfect gift: doesn't cost her a penny, she knows I'll like it and she can happily give me it again on my birthday knowing that 'll be just as pleased.

Not at Christmas dinner, obiously. That would just be weird.
 
#6
My ex wife in a swimming pool full of hungry sharks which have been geared up into a feeding frenzy by me pushing my kids new step-dad through a wood chipper then used as chum. However this wouldn't be until she'd signed to say she'd take ownership all the debt she left me with before she ran off. Failing that i'd settle for a 2010 Chevy Camaro. :)
 
#7
Stanley1975 said:
Sorry but that's the gayest wish list I've ever seen. White linen napkins?? Tweed suit? Bambi in your backyard? Please tell me you asked for the rapier to commit harakiri on Boxing Day. :wink:
I've already got the nympho turning up mate - I don't need to assert my sexuality! :)
 
#12
I want a case for my shoe cleaning kit, an Argentina rugby shirt and a real old-school smokers' knifey thing for maintaining my pipes. And a Terry's chocolate orange.
 
#14
Termination papers and my lump sum would go down a treat but I'll have to wait for the New Year For them. Bah feckin humbug!
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#16
EX_STAB said:
If celebrity birds are allowed can I have Florence Welch? I promise to share her with the nympho.... :)

What the fcuk do you want that whining ginger horror for? Please tell me it is for shooting practice when you run out of deer.
 
#19
Ravers said:
EX_STAB said:
If celebrity birds are allowed can I have Florence Welch? I promise to share her with the nympho.... :)

What the fcuk do you want that whining ginger horror for? Please tell me it is for shooting practice when you run out of deer.
I think she's gorgeous and so does the nympho! :D
 
#20
FourEM
Oh and a labido for the missus c/w a sense of humour
....fcukin' 'ell thats asking Santa a lot, isn't it???

You know wives have both removed when they get that ring on their finger. A story:

A few years ago my old mate married a woman about 10 years younger than him. Prior to his marriage he used to regail me with nights of pure, unadulterated passion - sussies, stockings, basques, the whole lot. Poor guy said to me last week "Passion has gone out of the window and it has been for about 3 years now, she goes to bed in her dressing gown and it doesn't get removed. If a fancy a shag, she looks at me with total disdain. Where did it go wrong, eh??" I hadn't the heart to tell him on his wedding day, he looked like the cat who got the cream. Poor bastard.......snakes with tits, I tell ya, snakes with tits.

Oh, and happy christmas to you all whilst I think about it. Ho fcuking ho ho

Dave
 

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