Alex Salmond charged with multiple counts of sexual assault, and a bunch of other stuff too.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Supreme Court of Arrse, do you find the defendant:

  • Guilty as charged - hang the fat f***

  • Not Guilty - but still a massive c***


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Ten to one Salmond's browser history now contains " what are the symptoms of dementia " and " how to plead unfit to stand trial ".
 
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Seadog

ADC
All he needs is the string vest.
View attachment 431820
Has he 'pished his breeks' as the Scottish Peepel would say?
Other explanations for the seemingly damp crotch may include:

Mischievous Salmond hater with Photoshop.

He spilt his bottle of sparkling mineral water.

Unflattering shadow conjured up by a carriage lighting system designed by a Toary..

He wears a black thong over his troos.
 
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Has he 'pished his breeks' as the Scottish Peepel would say?
Other explanations are:

Mischievous Salmond hater with Photoshop.

He spilt his bottle of sparkling mineral water.

Unflattering shadow conjured up by a carriage lighting system designed by a Toary..

He wears a black thong over his troos.
"Is it a song you's are wantin?"
 
Attempted rape, intent to rape, sexual assault and indecent assault.

He's not a very good rapist, is he?


The nature of the charges makes me think that there is something very fishy (apologies for the unintentional pun) about all of this.
he reminds me of the fat bloke in Brugue

 

Dredd

LE
I wonder if this was intending to be topical or just totally co-incidental - either way, certainly applies here:

 
I put this on a different thread so apologies for the duplicate.

Friends in Edinburgh were warned to hold a fork under the dinner table if they were sat near Wee Eck at a dinner to persuade him that allegedly wandering hands were not welcome.

Allegedly
this sort of behaviour was far from uncommon from him, and allegedly was well known about for some time.
 
I put this on a different thread so apologies for the duplicate.

Friends in Edinburgh were warned to hold a fork under the dinner table if they were sat near Wee Eck at a dinner to persuade him that allegedly wandering hands were not welcome.

Allegedly
this sort of behaviour was far from uncommon from him, and allegedly was well known about for some time.
I wonder if Nichola had any knowledge of this ?
 
I wonder if Nichola had any knowledge of this ?
Yeah makes you wonder doesn't it?
"THE Holyrood inquiry into the botched misconduct sexual probe against Alex Salmond has warned ministers and officials not to destroy any evidence."
"It will also look at Nicola Sturgeon’s secret meetings and calls with Mr Salmond during last year's probe, which her critics say breached the ministerial code."
 
I must say that Salmond is espousing his innocence with all the credibility of a guilty man.
 
He's not to be hung til after he's had a fair trial, mind.
I don't like the bloke, but there is, imho, a lot of contrived shock and horror regarding what constitutes sexual assault nowadays which damns the accused before they've had a fair run. Yes, yer man might be guilty as feck, but let's save the gloating til after the beak delivers the verdict.
 
He's not to be hung til after he's had a fair trial, mind.
I don't like the bloke, but there is, imho, a lot of contrived shock and horror regarding what constitutes sexual assault nowadays which damns the accused before they've had a fair run. Yes, yer man might be guilty as feck, but let's save the gloating til after the beak delivers the verdict.
Reminds me a bit of a Goons skit - Ned Seagoon in brackets

"Now we'll 'ave a good fair trail (I'M INNOCENT). Burt, you just nip over the road and get some good strong rope. (I'M INNOCENT, I TELL YOU) Did the jury swear?"
"Yes, Your Honour! (INNOCENT)
"and did the defendant swear?"
"I never 'eard such language (INNOCENT).
 
He's not to be hung til after he's had a fair trial, mind.
I don't like the bloke, but there is, imho, a lot of contrived shock and horror regarding what constitutes sexual assault nowadays which damns the accused before they've had a fair run. Yes, yer man might be guilty as feck, but let's save the gloating til after the beak delivers the verdict.
I have given you a like for the real world answer.

For the purposes of the Arrse......:toilet:
 
I wonder if Nichola had any knowledge of this ?
Yup , that's why Eck has been paid so much money by the Scottish government

The rumours are they were trying to cause a legal technicality so it wouldn't go to court but it all backfired. There will plenty of big names in the SNP sighing massively about the date of the election. If the court case was six months earlier their fall would have been even spectacular than their rise in 2015
 

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