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Ale drinking songs

#1
We all know them the classic ale drinking songs that all ways get a run out a battery/company/etc smokers or after rugby/football matches from the acceptable to the obscene what a arrse member favourite tunes when pished
(apologies if this has been done before)
 
#2
does anyone remember
You can tell by the smell
That your girlfriend isn't well
When the end of the month comes around

happy memories of rugby.
 
#3
The Mayor of Bridgewater seems to stir everyone into male voice choir performance.

Mind you we have a song about a lobster and a woman.

Rather odd but it manages to contain nearly every swear word!
 
#4
To the tune of a cowboy western thing

Pop Pop-adum Pop Pop Pop Pop Pop
Pop Pop-adum Pop Pop Pop Pop Pop

Bharjee, Onion Bharjee
Chicken Korma - Vindaloo
Lamb Pasanda, Rogan Ghost
But I'd rather have a

Pop Pop-adum Pop Pop Pop Pop Pop
Pop Pop-adum Pop Pop Pop Pop Pop
 
#5
I used to work in chicago, in the old department store,
I used to work in chicago, I don't work there any more...

LEADER: A lady came into the store one day, for a door handle...
REST OF BUS: A door handle, from the store?
LEADER: A door handle she wanted, a KNOBBING she got!!
-I Don't work anymore!

CHORUS

LEADER: A lady came into the store one day for a Kit Kat...
REST OF BUS: A Kit Kat from the store?
LEADER: A Kit Kat she wanted, FOUR FINGERS she got!!
- I don't work anymore!

CHORUS

LEADER: A lady came into the store one day for a ruler...
REST OF BUS: A ruler from the store?
LEADER: A ruler she wanted, my TWELVE INCHES she got!!
- I don't work any more!

CHORUS

This song continues for ever along these lines, including gems such as: "Some help she wanted, my AIDS she got!" and"A WW2 Armoured assault she wanted, a BLITZING she got!"


Also, a Canadian once taught me the legendary, "Jesus cant play rugby", which includes reasons for the messiahs lack of athletic prowess such as "Because he's nailed to a fcuking cross", "He's only got 12 men", "his headwear his illegal" and "Cos his Dad'll fix the game!"
 
#6
Maccy_Bear said:
Also, a Canadian once taught me the legendary, "Jesus cant play rugby", which includes reasons for the messiahs lack of athletic prowess such as "Because he's nailed to a fcuking cross", "He's only got 12 men", "his headwear his illegal" and "Cos his Dad'll fix the game!"
Please Please find me the words to this song
 
#7
That your girlfriend isn't well
When the end of the month comes around
You can tell by the blob
On the end of your kn*b...

You can tell by the taste
That it isn't salmon paste...

You can tell by her moaning
That she's leaking haemoglobin...

:twisted:
 
#8
How about:

Three German soldiers crossed the Rhine!

...with a purpose in mind...
...in a Panzer tank, with one driver...
...encountering a wayward inn...

etc!
 
#9
You can tell by the grunt
That there's turmoil in her cnut

And its a hi hi hee
in the tampax factory
Shout out your orders loud and clear
LARGE Juniour miss or family size
 
#12
MrPVRd said:
That your girlfriend isn't well
When the end of the month comes around
You can tell by the blob
On the end of your kn*b...

You can tell by the taste
That it isn't salmon paste...

You can tell by her moaning
That she's leaking haemoglobin...

:twisted:
You can tell by the frown
That you'll have to pot the brown
or (that the painters are in town)
 
#13
I once knew a bloke who use to sing about a threshing machine,

Does any one know the words to this one?

But other classics,

The sunshine mountain

Father abraham

Has anyone seen JC
 
#14
After listening to Greengrass' pathetic effort tonight, he was singing "Old MacDonald Had a Farm". The slug ws cringing.
 
#15
After listening to Greengrass' pathetic effort tonight, he was singing "Old MacDonald Had a Farm". The slug ws cringing. And still had to prompt him with the words.

Men and lager - not a good mix.
 
#16
Blast from the past

"They killed one,They killed two,
They killed thirteen more than you,
With a nick-nack Paddy-whack,Give a Para Gun,
PARAs thirteen,BOGSIDE none."

The Official Finding Of The Saville Inquiry :lol:
 
#17
Sabre said:
I once knew a bloke who use to sing about a threshing machine,

Does any one know the words to this one?

But other classics,

The sunshine mountain

Father abraham

Has anyone seen JC
"The Wizard's Staff (has a knob on the end of it)"
 

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