Ale drinking songs

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Greengrass, Apr 23, 2005.

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  1. We all know them the classic ale drinking songs that all ways get a run out a battery/company/etc smokers or after rugby/football matches from the acceptable to the obscene what a arrse member favourite tunes when pished
    (apologies if this has been done before)
     
  2. does anyone remember
    You can tell by the smell
    That your girlfriend isn't well
    When the end of the month comes around

    happy memories of rugby.
     
  3. The Mayor of Bridgewater seems to stir everyone into male voice choir performance.

    Mind you we have a song about a lobster and a woman.

    Rather odd but it manages to contain nearly every swear word!
     
  4. To the tune of a cowboy western thing

    Pop Pop-adum Pop Pop Pop Pop Pop
    Pop Pop-adum Pop Pop Pop Pop Pop

    Bharjee, Onion Bharjee
    Chicken Korma - Vindaloo
    Lamb Pasanda, Rogan Ghost
    But I'd rather have a

    Pop Pop-adum Pop Pop Pop Pop Pop
    Pop Pop-adum Pop Pop Pop Pop Pop
     
  5. I used to work in chicago, in the old department store,
    I used to work in chicago, I don't work there any more...

    LEADER: A lady came into the store one day, for a door handle...
    REST OF BUS: A door handle, from the store?
    LEADER: A door handle she wanted, a KNOBBING she got!!
    -I Don't work anymore!

    CHORUS

    LEADER: A lady came into the store one day for a Kit Kat...
    REST OF BUS: A Kit Kat from the store?
    LEADER: A Kit Kat she wanted, FOUR FINGERS she got!!
    - I don't work anymore!

    CHORUS

    LEADER: A lady came into the store one day for a ruler...
    REST OF BUS: A ruler from the store?
    LEADER: A ruler she wanted, my TWELVE INCHES she got!!
    - I don't work any more!

    CHORUS

    This song continues for ever along these lines, including gems such as: "Some help she wanted, my AIDS she got!" and"A WW2 Armoured assault she wanted, a BLITZING she got!"


    Also, a Canadian once taught me the legendary, "Jesus cant play rugby", which includes reasons for the messiahs lack of athletic prowess such as "Because he's nailed to a fcuking cross", "He's only got 12 men", "his headwear his illegal" and "Cos his Dad'll fix the game!"
     
  6. Please Please find me the words to this song
     
  7. You can tell by the blob
    On the end of your kn*b...

    You can tell by the taste
    That it isn't salmon paste...

    You can tell by her moaning
    That she's leaking haemoglobin...

    :twisted:
     
  8. How about:

    Three German soldiers crossed the Rhine!

    ...with a purpose in mind...
    ...in a Panzer tank, with one driver...
    ...encountering a wayward inn...

    etc!
     
  9. You can tell by the grunt
    That there's turmoil in her cnut

    And its a hi hi hee
    in the tampax factory
    Shout out your orders loud and clear
    LARGE Juniour miss or family size
     
  10. She's had you
    she's had us
    And her cnut is full of pus
     
  11. Monty Python's "Spam" song.
     
  12. You can tell by the frown
    That you'll have to pot the brown
    or (that the painters are in town)
     
  13. I once knew a bloke who use to sing about a threshing machine,

    Does any one know the words to this one?

    But other classics,

    The sunshine mountain

    Father abraham

    Has anyone seen JC
     
  14. After listening to Greengrass' pathetic effort tonight, he was singing "Old MacDonald Had a Farm". The slug ws cringing.
     
  15. After listening to Greengrass' pathetic effort tonight, he was singing "Old MacDonald Had a Farm". The slug ws cringing. And still had to prompt him with the words.

    Men and lager - not a good mix.