Alcohol makes women stupid

#1
Gents just thought i would share this perfect example to prove alcohol makes women stupid...

Mrs Green machine is usually a bright lass, puts that minger vorderman to shame.

Picture this;

Early knock off from work, nip into town to pick up a copy of King Kong, stop in at the local for a few pints..
Get home - DVD on, about 30 or so min later Mrs Green Machine turns to me and asks..... So which one is King Kong? Aha i thought this must be a "waahh" So i calmly i say pretending to be paying attention to the film, "say again dear" - to which she replies - "which one is King Kong, who turns into King Kong then?"

Oh dear. Has anyone else experienced the unfortunate side affect of alcohol on their better half’s.
 
#3
Spent a night in the bed of a very intelligent girl who was absolutely gorgeous but also spent most of the night throwing up... think that counts as stupidity on her part :p
 
#4
crabby said:
Spent a night in the bed of a very intelligent girl who was absolutely gorgeous but also spent most of the night throwing up... think that counts as stupidity on her part :p
Well you know what happens when you stick your fingers down your throat..... :lol:
 
#6
I was buying her wife beater all night!! That's all!!!

I was the perfect gentleman, I held her hair, let her sit on me so she was closer to the sink (didn't make it to toilet), let my hand be puked on and then do various other things before keeping her warm all night (only sleeping mind, I'm too well behaved :oops:)

*smiles with innocence*
 
#7
crabby said:
I was buying her wife beater all night!! That's all!!!

I was the perfect gentleman, I held her hair, let her sit on me so she was closer to the sink (didn't make it to toilet), let my hand be puked on and then do various other things before keeping her warm all night (only sleeping mind, I'm too well behaved :oops:)

*smiles with innocence*
What a sweetie you are.
Try buying her gin next time! :twisted:
 
#8
crabby said:
I was buying her wife beater all night!! That's all!!!

I was the perfect gentleman, I held her hair, let her sit on me so she was closer to the sink (didn't make it to toilet), let my hand be puked on and then do various other things before keeping her warm all night (only sleeping mind, I'm too well behaved :oops:)

*smiles with innocence*
You stuck YOUR fingers down HER throat? While she was sitting on your face? Serves you right.

BTW, you don't need to let women sit on you to be closer to the sink. That's why they have t1ts. :wink:
 
#9
LOL

She's 30F and 5' tall... she needed help with the sink :p

I didn't stick my fingers down her throat, she threw up through excessive alcohol consumption. My hand was pulling back stray hairs when it was decorated with stella and carrot chunks. She was sat on my lap!! Can I protest my innocence anymore?
 
#12
Loads of photos and you're not seeing a single one. I didn't pull her hair - I'm lovely. I was holding it back for her and massaging her back to allow her to throw up easier... both fully clothed

Anyway, enough of her alcohol fuelled mistake... What about everyone elses?
 
#13
crabby said:
Spent a night in the bed of a very intelligent girl who was absolutely gorgeous but also spent most of the night throwing up... think that counts as stupidity on her part :p
Before we misread you as a gentleman, perhaps you'd care to read your first post on this matter.

It distinctly infers that while the intelligent(???) girl was throwing up, you were knocking out Zs in her bed. Or perhaps you were knocking something else out.

Very fishy....


Edited to add:

Must post something soon as I'm on 666!!!!
 
#14
putteesinmyhands said:
crabby said:
Spent a night in the bed of a very intelligent girl who was absolutely gorgeous but also spent most of the night throwing up... think that counts as stupidity on her part :p
Before we misread you as a gentleman, perhaps you'd care to read your first post on this matter.

It distinctly infers that while the intelligent(???) girl was throwing up, you were knocking out Zs in her bed. Or perhaps you were knocking something else out.

Very fishy....


Edited to add:

Must post something soon as I'm on 666!!!!

After she'd stopped throwing up we retired to her bed, smaller than a single, where I kept her warm for the next few hours. Indeed she ended up giving me backache as I was rammed against a wall where there was some stupid wall-light and I had to breathe in vomit-breath all night. On the other hand the evening was great fun and I wouldn't not have that night for the world, a friend is never a true friend until you've seen them like that.
 
#16
The Lord Flasheart said:
Crabby, someone was stupid but I dont think it was the doris hurling her clack up. :roll:

Youre telling us you didnt even wipe your man tube on her forehead??
No... I'm a disgrace to mankind. Will you ever forgive me?
 
#17
crabby said:
The Lord Flasheart said:
Crabby, someone was stupid but I dont think it was the doris hurling her clack up. :roll:

Youre telling us you didnt even wipe your man tube on her forehead??
No... I'm a disgrace to mankind. Will you ever forgive me?
No.


Now toddle off to GAP and buy yourself a blouse.












You'll be telling us next you didnt at least rifle through her handbag.
 
#19
crabby said:
we retired to her bed, smaller than a single.
Oh, God! It gets worse.

That explains a lot. 5' tall, wears a 30F bra and still sleeps in a cot. You've forced Stella down a tall, buxom 13-year old with the intention of making illicit advances and you think that's gentlemanly. WELL, I DON'T THINK SO. :x
 
#20
putteesinmyhands said:
crabby said:
we retired to her bed, smaller than a single.
Oh, God! It gets worse.

That explains a lot. 5' tall, wears a 30F bra and still sleeps in a cot. You've forced Stella down a tall, buxom 13-year old with the intention of making illicit advances and you think that's gentlemanly. WELL, I DON'T THINK SO. :x
This was almost 2 years ago. She was almost 19, just not especially tall :p and it was a university bed. They're blatantly made too narrow for two people to discourage misbehaviour, instead I snuggled up and had terrible backache for a week!!! I'm still a gentleman, I took the cold wall side and she took most of the duvet!!!!

Why doesn't anyone believe me *sob*

P.S anyone wanting to join my shopping expedition, I'm getting a frilly blouse, a smart one for work and then a casual one. What colour skirt?