Alcohol fueled self pitying winge (and where else to put it)

#1
Hmm, where to start (the hole maybe?)

Just binned the wench after nearly 2 years, and, with no remorse, i'm feeling strangely bad.

It's been coming for a while, and the sudden realisation that i don't have to come home to that (admittedly, not so good looking) face has got me all sad.

Looking it up on t'internet, i'm in stage 3 of the break-up (3 is sadness/realisation. Number 4 is rage, so i apologise if there are any ginger headed students around me when it happens, no I don't, gingers should buy a set of clippers).

Beer ain't helping. Chain smoking makes me feel as breathy as the alcoholic pensioner who lives next door, and I can't be arsed to go out on the pull.

Any recommendations on how to get rid of this shitty feeling I have?
 
#2
I don't think the last thread that started like this ended so well...
 
#4
Your living next door to an alcoholic pensioner, and you're approaching the stage of rage- do the math mate, get round there and give it a nice stress relieving shoeing!
 
#5
Get ya shorts on and go for a nice stress busting run.


Failing that, Tesco are doing two crates of Becks for £16. Drink as many as possible and the world is your oyster. Go on a holiday too, think of the savings.


If that doesn't work, go round her gaff, commit a suitable atrocity, one that would get you onto the thread running here, then follow through with Flashys advice. In your own time. Go on.
 
#6
TankiesYank said:
I don't think the last thread that started like this ended so well...
Yeah, without going into details, the only reason I know where she is, is I'm listed as her N.O.K. and the call I got after she left me a letter saying " I love you, my parents, the dog, and goodbye etc.

Bad situation.

Pity i'm such a good shag really.



The killing myself option so many of you have helpfully recommended, nope, sorry, the planet is a better place with me.
 
#7
I can't be arsed to go out on the pull.
Don't bother... No-one else wants a self-indulged, narcissistic cunt like you anyway
 
#9
indoubitabley said:
Any recommendations on how to get rid of this shitty feeling I have?
All I can give you is confirmation that the feeling will go away, bit by bit. This time next week, everything will suck a little less, and after a month goes by, you will look back on how you feel today and know you are in a better state of mind. Moving forward can be quite exhilarating, especially if you don't waste time looking back over your shoulder.

In the meantime. lots of alcohol, coffin nails and sordid meaningless sex will make the next few days pass as quickly and pleasantly as possible.

Do not kill yourself. The paperwork is interminable, and no matter how hard you try, you will leave a mess.
 
#13
indoubitabley said:
Hmm, where to start (the hole maybe?)

Just binned the wench after nearly 2 years, and, with no remorse, i'm feeling strangely bad.

It's been coming for a while, and the sudden realisation that i don't have to come home to that (admittedly, not so good looking) face has got me all sad.

Looking it up on t'internet, i'm in stage 3 of the break-up (3 is sadness/realisation. Number 4 is rage, so i apologise if there are any ginger headed students around me when it happens, no I don't, gingers should buy a set of clippers).

Beer ain't helping. Chain smoking makes me feel as breathy as the alcoholic pensioner who lives next door, and I can't be arsed to go out on the pull.

Any recommendations on how to get rid of this shitty feeling I have?
Looks like Mish is up for it mate. :)
 
#14
FatBoyGeorge said:
I want in on this before it all goes horribly wrong!

An old mate of mine did a good job of ending the nightmare, he threw himself under a Scania on the M6 and the following 6 cars came to his aid by making sure it was done properly.

Lets all say a prayer for the dentists of this world, and the Argos jewellry counter.

FBG
I vaguely remember that.....I was driving car 4 messy business I recall.
 
#15
WarpSpasm said:
indoubitabley said:
Do not kill yourself. The paperwork is interminable, and no matter how hard you try, you will leave a mess.
No need to worry about the paper work, I'm civy now, and no snake with tits is worth topping yourself.

skintboymike, cheers, but as a civy, i have bills to pay, and i've just reduced to household income, sounds good, but holidays out of the question, and the offer of spending time on a beach with sluggy on chat makes me want to stay at home with the lights out (kidding sluggs, love you really).

WarpSpasm, cheers for that, too sensible, it's the NAAFI, I'll drink unill i find a better option

zulu-uhlu, no, I'm good with my small cock, really good. even though it is small (although, she said she didn't mind, so yes, but then, all women are liars)
 
#16
A much more important question is "Why did you stay with a munter for two years"????
 
#17
Do a Carradine Variation:- Bodge tape your balls to an anvil and throw yourself down the stairs while wearing a gimp mask.
 
#18
indoubitabley said:
WarpSpasm, cheers for that, too sensible
I think I can confidently say that this would be the first time those words have ever been uttered...
 
#20
Lardbeast said:
Do a Carradine Variation:- Bodge tape your balls to an anvil and throw yourself down the stairs while wearing a gimp mask.

Harsh! Mind you, excess alcohol will soon make the pain go away.
Beer, beer, we want more beer, all the lads are cheering, get the fucking beers in.....and get the suicide on liveleak too.!
 

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