Alabama Dayvorce

Judge: So why are we here today?

Ah want a dayvorce, Yer Honour

Judge - Do you have a case?

No Sir, Ah have a John Deere.

Judge: No, no - I mean, do you have a grudge?

Yes Sir - that's where Ah keep the John Deere.

Judge (exasperated) - your wife, is she a nagger?

No Judge, but the babby is and that's why Ah want the dayvorce!