Al Qaeda To Kidnap Celebrities?

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by wotan, Mar 9, 2005.

  1. Yes, protect Angelina Jolie at all costs!

  2. No, Russell Crowe's brain is from Planet Zentar.

  3. Who cares? Snatch the lot.


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  1. It seems that Russell Crowe is claiming that the FBI warned him prior to 11 Sep 01 that Al Qaeda planned to kidnap him and other celebrities as part of a "cultural de-stabilization" plot. More info can be found at or at the Australian issue of GQ.

    Weird I know. I know my cultural world wouldn't collapse based on the absence of Mr. Crowe, however I do have a list of celebrities to suggest as candidates for kidnapping.

    So what do folks here think, a shameless publicity ploy or a real threat?
  2. Obviously Russel crowe after being a roman general in gladiator and a british captain in master & commander thinks he's some sort of military wonderkid! No wonder Al Qaeda wanted to kidnap him!

    Meanwhile in downtown Islamabad
    Osama bin laden: Abdul, we must kidnap more of these western pigdog warriors, then and only then will those western infidel whores fear us!
    Abdul: Yes o great one, but which great white warrior should we kidnap?
    OBL: We must capture Russel Crowe! He is truly a great white warrior, he has battled the Germanic hordes and bested an emperor, and has defeated the vile cheese eating French at sea, truly he is a great warrior!
    Abdul: Wasn't he also a corrupt cop and a basket-case?
    OBL: Be quiet insolent dog! I am always right, praise Allah!
    Abdul:...erm yes praise Allah.
  3. no no no - it was me plotting to kidnap Russell Crowe mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm but he is safe now he's married so off limits :wink:
  4. They can have Ainsley Harriot for starters (no pun intended) :lol:
    closely followed by; Anthony Worral-Thompson
    The Cabinet
    Alan Tichmarsh
    Cilla Black
    Janet Steet-Porter
    Billy Connelly
  5. I'd have taken him when he was Maximus (phhhhhhhhhhwwwwwoooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar!) but after that NO THANKS!
  6. Not forgetting,
    Linda Barker
    Ross Kemp
    Piers Morgan
    Davina McCall
  7. No "Proof of Life" was his best film :wink:
  8. Think you mean "Proof of Life" was a shite film but he looked HOT (forgot that that was the reason I bought the DVD! :oops:) :lol:
  9. Ah yes i forgot...

    OBL: Don't forget Abdul, that he is also a very good negotiater and special forces soldier, by kidnapping him we will deny the white infidels one of their greatest assets!
    Abdul:...oh yes...anything you say great one.
  10. Perhaps the fact that these luvvies are still mincing about in public is in itself an al-Qaeda plot to de-stabilise our patience and goodwill.

    Had an idea for the ultimate reality TV show just now...'He's an Extremist, Get Me Outta Here!'

    Synopsis: Six luvvies and six pollies are incarcerated in a house. A heavily drugged islamic extremist lies in a glass box bolted to the floor of the house with the disassembled components of an Acme ThunderVest (TM) locked in with him. Rest of the plot remains the same but winning the vote secures early release and thus survival...oh, is Abdul stirring?

    Just a thought.
    Sticky :D
  11. I quite enjoyed it actually :oops:
  12. Stuff Russel Crowe!

    When the F*CK are they going to take those two TW*TS, Ant and Dec, is what I want to know????

    :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:
  13. i really hope they take jim davidson ..........oh and victoria wood.................oh and des o`conner