Al-Northumbria and the Crabs. Press release # D675/78/G

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by TheIronDuke, Aug 5, 2008.

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  1. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Seconds out, round 2.

    Some of you will recall the purple mincers declaring war on a free and proud people by dropping a 'practice bomb' on us then saying "Sorry, but it couldnt posibly harm anyone". Flash tossers.

    Today my friends, Northumbria leaves a calling card.

    *Linky - may cause distress to people who enjoy circuit diagrams*

    Hah. Right up the jaxie.

    I can reveal that the incident was not a bird strike. Rather it was Dekka The Monkey (not his real name) lobbing a brown ale bottle from the top of Simonside with the immortal words "Do one, Biggles. You bombed me Mams chip shop".

    Reports that a crack team of Geordies who can use a Tom-Tom have been dispatched to set fire to Sir Jock's dustbin and hoy it through his office window cannot be confirmed or denied at this time.

    But a yellow 1992 Transit van with a broken tail light and questionable brakes was captured on CCTV heading south past Washington on the A1 services at 18.03 today.

    Be afraid Sir Jock. Be very afraid.

    Hey, we'll get the brakes fixed as soon as our Gaz's Giro comes in. We're on war loadings here. Back off. Jesus.

    Stay tuned for more breaking news, as it happens, from Al-Northumbria. The last gasp of sanity here on the Island.
     
  2. Been on the brown ale too???
     
  3. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    No. I cant stand sweet beer. Just about to knock off work actually. How about you? Fancy a drink? PM me.
     
  4. From the beeb:

    "Dinnington Road is shut because of the radiation threat from the jet's flare."

    What radioactive flares?
     
  5. you should actually try working while there :D
     
  6. I wondered about that one too.
     
  7. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Is there something they are not telling us?
     
  8. Ambulance crews are at the scene but that is a matter of course and the crew are being checked out as a precaution, but we think they are okay

    Newcastle Airport spokeswoman

    Ha ha ha, fuggin typical. nothing to do with the plane or unfolding drama, just a random check on ambulance crews to make sure they arent tranny mincers, druggies or fcked out of there heads on Lambrini getting ready for another night in the Big Market.
     
  9. You want to see the locals who reside in Dinnington, half the feckers havent realised WW2 is over and Churchill is dead. Then again, that slapper from Big Brother who does porn came from there.
     
  10. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Oh please. One of my half cousins breeds trotter ponys at Dinnington. He says an accountant moved in there in February. A proper accountant. Letters after his name in all. Drinks in the White Swan he says. Its an up an coming village.
     
  11. Sorry, can't make it to the toon tonight. Perhaps another time! :D
     
  12. Jesus. M.O.A.B. (Mostly Opaque Ancient Beer) attacks in broad daylight, it's getting worse.
     
  13. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    Probably mean the jets radar & Skyshadow ECM pod.
    As for flares,unless the jet was doing air to air trng or excersise,I doubt the'd be a flare cartridge fitted in the Boz pod.
    Regards,
    Spike (ex-Tornado armourer)
     
  14. I'd assume some berk taking notes misunderstood "FLIR"
     
  15. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    Missed that one!
    Give the laddy a gold star!