Al-Baghdadi reported dead

Discussion in 'Current Affairs, News and Analysis' started by PepperSeaDog, Apr 27, 2015.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I wouldn't bet on it, he seems to have more lives than my fecking cat.
    • Funny Funny x 3
  2. Oh, what a pity.
    I hope it hurt, massively and for quite some time.
    Still, he'll enjoy his afterlife.
    Oh, hold on...
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Have you heard the one about the 72 virgins actually being 72 raisins?

    We had MATTs last week, and the Padre was speaking during the V&S phase. By all accounts the literal translation in the Qu'ran (or however its spelt) measn raisins. He explained that raisins were classed as quite the delacacy way back then, and that it would have been an honour to have eaten one, but 72... ?

    Anyway, back on topic... hope he was/is in a considerable amount of pain.
    • Informative Informative x 4
    • Informative Informative x 1
  4. chrisg46

    chrisg46 LE Book Reviewer

    Brilliant - all these jihadists blowing themselves up left, right and centre and all they get in the afterlife is a fruit bowl.
    • Funny Funny x 2
  5. Sadurian

    Sadurian LE Book Reviewer

    If they're chocolate-covered I might go for it.

    I'd be annoyed if it turned out that the translation wasn't 'raisins' but 'reasons', though. Being shown 72 reasons why I've just died would be a real bummer.
    • Funny Funny x 6
  6. Mr_Fingerz

    Mr_Fingerz LE Book Reviewer

    Well there's no love lost between sunni and shia, but this may well be wishful thinking by the Iranians.
  7. Raisins?
    Should we let all the mooslamics know that they can get the equivalent of their heavenly rewards at the nearest supermarket for next to nowt, as opposed to having to carry that big, heavy, bangy belt?
    • Funny Funny x 1
  8. He's been seriously ill for a while now as a result of Allah failing to prevent a large, falling explosive device detonating close to him. Hopefully the 'Caliphate' will implode now and they will be at each others throats in a rabid orgy of beheading, suicide bombings with mandatory sexual abuse.

    Ah, I can see the problem, no change there then!
    • Like Like x 5
    • Funny Funny x 2
  9. Anyway, back on thread.
    Let's hope he is as dead as the proverbial doornail.
  10. Brotherton Lad

    Brotherton Lad LE Reviewer

    Almost an anagram of mad Sunni.

    But not quite.
    • Like Like x 2
  11. I still have hopes that the 72 virgins in paradise turn out to be 72 elderly Irish nuns who haven't lost their fondness for dispensing corporal punishment...;)
    • Funny Funny x 6
    • Like Like x 4
  12. Heaven always seemed a bit gay (meaning in the pejorative sense not the bum fun or carefree happy way). All my mates and durty women must be in hell. Anyway the devil owes me one for doing his bidding for so long.

    Back to the thread I will believe it when I see his mass card.
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Like Like x 1