Airsoft SAS saddo

[Nemesis44UK]

I need some advice.

There's a guy who's started at my place of work. There's a few things about him that rubs me up the wrong way.

1. He's bone idle.
2. When he does turn up, he spends most of his time on his phone, watching TV series or playing games.
3. He's 19-stone.
4. He's heavily into airsoft, bringing in his "sniper rifle" with custom-made camouflage.
5. This is the best one - he has an SAS tattoo on his leg.

Now, I'm all for live and let live, but surely this man is entitled to some of my ridicule?

Problem is, he's the owner's nephew.

Should I just continue keeping myself to myself, or lure him to an untimely death, by leaving a trail of Ginster's pasties into the busy road outside and hoping an artic will dissassemble him?

What would Dear Deidre do?

 

[Old Stab]

Carefully unwrap a big bar of Galaxy. Replace Galaxy with Ex Lax or other equivilant. Leave in a place where fatty can nick it and scoff it without being seen.

Watch and wait for the inevitable trouser explision.

 

[kelvin_273]

I need some advice.

There's a guy who's started at my place of work. There's a few things about him that rubs me up the wrong way.

1. He's bone idle.
2. When he does turn up, he spends most of his time on his phone, watching TV series or playing games.
3. He's 19-stone.
4. He's heavily into airsoft, bringing in his "sniper rifle" with custom-made camouflage.
5. This is the best one - he has an SAS tattoo on his leg.

Now, I'm all for live and let live, but surely this man is entitled to some of my ridicule?

Problem is, he's the owner's nephew.

Should I just continue keeping myself to myself, or lure him to an untimely death, by leaving a trail of Ginster's pasties into the busy road outside and hoping an artic will dissassemble him?

What would Dear Deidre do?

Get another job immediately before you're doing time for murdering a fat mess.

 

[UKRaider]

Encourage him. Take photos. Send them to us here.

 

[Chef]

Enrage him or tempt him with Haribo to chase you around until he dies of heat exhaustion or heart attack.

Let Hollywood be your guide.


I take it for granted that your own speed snake like form means you can outrun him

 

[BarcelonaAnalPark]

Start calling him 'sir' & ask him how he likes his brews making. Sounds like he's there to stay.

 

[Edwardian Fred]

Have some fun. Keep asking him what he would do in certain situations. I.e. what would be do if terrorists burst in and held every one hostage and you were only armed with a ginsters and a five pack of chocolate eggs?

 

[AsterixTG]

Have some fun. Keep asking him what he would do in certain situations. I.e. what would be do if terrorists burst in and held every one hostage and you were only armed with a ginsters and a five pack of chocolate eggs?

So basically a Fat Gareth from The Office - all sorts of fun to be had.

 

[OneTenner]

Sugar free gummy bears left lying around.... it won't change or kill him but it'll be fun watching him doing (big) swastikas towards the shitter....
Depending how thick he is, it could be a gift that keeps giving.

 

[CatsEyes]

Get him to register on ARRSE. He'll fit right in.

 

[Nemesis44UK]

Enrage him or tempt him with Haribo to chase you around until he dies of heat exhaustion or heart attack.

Let Hollywood be your guide.


I take it for granted that your own speed snake like form means you can outrun him

Whilst I would never be confused with a snake, to be fair, a glacier could outrun the fat ******.

 

[AdminVortex]

This has the potential for humour. Befriend him and stroke his ego. See how much of a pillock you can make of him.

 

[arfah]

Leave him be.
He might be ex them gen?

 

[AdminVortex]

Get him to register on ARRSE. He'll fit right in.

 

[lokiuk]

Carefully unwrap a big bar of Galaxy. Replace Galaxy with Ex Lax or other equivilant. Leave in a place where fatty can nick it and scoff it without being seen.

Watch and wait for the inevitable trouser explision.

But get someone elses prints on the choccie bar, and you're golden

 

[AdminVortex]

It's simple. If you're ex-army and/or know people who are, arrange a night out with them when the boozers open.

Tell him there are lots of like-minded fellows want to swap combat dits. Encourage him to dress up in his rig and show his tattoo off.

Take pictures. Post here. Or invite us.

 

[Bacongrills]

You're jealous that he's slimmer than you ?

 

[Kirkz]

I need some advice.

There's a guy who's started at my place of work. There's a few things about him that rubs me up the wrong way.

1. He's bone idle.
2. When he does turn up, he spends most of his time on his phone, watching TV series or playing games.
3. He's 19-stone.
4. He's heavily into airsoft, bringing in his "sniper rifle" with custom-made camouflage.
5. This is the best one - he has an SAS tattoo on his leg.

Now, I'm all for live and let live, but surely this man is entitled to some of my ridicule?

Problem is, he's the owner's nephew.

Should I just continue keeping myself to myself, or lure him to an untimely death, by leaving a trail of Ginster's pasties into the busy road outside and hoping an artic will dissassemble him?

What would Dear Deidre do?

Deidre would tell you to leave the precious ikle snowflake alone, get him a safe place and a comfort animal and leave him be in his padded safe little world.

Ignore all of that and rip the living piss out of the walting fat knacker.
Start a facebook page on the cnut and then the whole world can laugh at the fuckmusket.

 

[theoriginalphantom]

Mind my ******* persec ffs

 

[OneTenner]

If you don't mind splashing a bit of dosh on a wind up leading to meltdown, start sending these (several cap badges available, including REME), you'll know by the reaction if he's gen.

I suspect that one is French.


Or one of the more manly depictions of RAF Reg't.