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  1. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a
    school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession
    of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.

    At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he
    believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is
    being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

    "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions
    by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of
    absolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y" and refer to
    themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country."

    "As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every
    triangle," Ashcroft declared.

    When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."

    "I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on
    protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us
    with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every
    sphere of influence," the President said, adding: "Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line."

    President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex."

    Attorney General Ashcroft said, " As our once Great Leader would have said:
    Read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they
    continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens
    around their necks."
     
  2. That's it...you've been cut off.
     
  3. Yeah, - but isn't it strange that for the first few lines it almost sounds like something the spams would do in their current state of paranoia!!
     
  4. X-Inf

    X-Inf War Hero Book Reviewer

    So true Cutaway.

    Straight to the point and all things squared away. There will now be an inquiry organised by B&Q (to supply the whitewash) into why WMI intel was not presented to parliament before this person was arrested at JFK. :roll: