Airport Security - Getting Frisked

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by whippet_X, Apr 25, 2008.

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  1. Sausages

  2. Fuck off you prick. Get in line like everyone else, what made you so special?
  3. What a loser. You self important tool. I dont look on getting searched at the airport as a hassle - more a perk for the staff!
  4. Your having a laugh. That argument did not work during Op Banner, it aint going to work now.
  5. knobber get fcuking real. Cnuts like you shoud just fcuk off, you self un-important mong.
  6. On a similar subject, is it just me or do airport staff LOVE frisking squaddies? I always get bloody pulled aside and the following discussion takes place.

    "You've got scissors and a metal object in your rucksack."

    "Oh, OK."

    *attendant opens bag and pulls out said items*

    "What are these?"


    "What are they for?"

    "Cutting things. You just took them out of my first aid kit."

    "OK. What is this?" *Points at metal object*

    "That is my thermos mug."

    "What is it for?"

    "Keeping my brew hot."


    Then they always seem to take great joy in finding the tin of boot polish I forgot to take out of my daysack, brandishing it as though they have found the worlds' biggest dirty bomb and throwing it in the bin, contented that they have saved the airlines from a terrorist bombing for the day.

    I know it's my own fault and cannot complain, as it needs to be done, I just find it slightly amusing and pretty much take for granted that I am going to be searched the minute I go through security.

    Edited to add just in case: I am not signing that petition you f*cking self righteous mong.
  7. I was taken to the 'special room' at Kyanthos airport for that!
  8. Ahh right! You were so ashamed of your opening bone post that you edited it! Spineless AND a tool - an interesting combination!
  9. Why shouldnt we get frisked? Because we're in the army does that make us above the law/security of others?
    Anyway it wouldnt be the same if I didnt get touched up by some butch lesbian airport security attendant. I know it makes their day so its the least I could do.

    Im glad you saw the stupidity of your post. Shame it wasnt before you started writing it.
  10. I quite like getting frisked, its the nearest I get to sex these days.
  11. :D
  12. Quite a few years back I'd handled the best part of 2500Kgs of commercial grade PE. Two days after doing so I was at a well known UK airport and was pulled aside for frisking, whilst being frisked they used the soda bread machine (think that's what it was called) on my bags. Much to my amazement the bloke came back and said that all was okay!!
  13. I had a similar experience after handling 500kg of ANFO. Unfortunately when I got pulled I did a 10 stretch in Long Kesh.
  14. Try flying in from regional France, Rather pretty French security girl with a voice off Allo Allo takes my bag with look of disgust...I know its all going to go wrong, the wife and kids are long gone through security thanks to her french upbringing and yet again I curse my not learning the lingo properly.

    "Ah, What is zis?"

    "Thermal mug"

    "And Zis"


    "What do you use zem for, I zink they must be taken?"

    "Err, I'm a Soldier... :oops: err I drink with it and I use the grab things :x " Bugger should have put them in the hold.

    "Oh, really! Wow how wonderful. Ave you been to war!" She seemed to change personality and brightened right up. :wink:

    "Well, you know.. 8) " I'm cut off as she calls a slightly older woman over. They babble excitedly in french,

    "Do you ave a carte?" They ask.

    "Err..a carte?" I ask. Worried now..

    "Yes ID?" Penny drops out comes Mod90! They babble again..

    "you are much younger in your photo" the young girl states with a smile.

    By now I'm wondering if I'm going to make the bloody flight, although she is pretty. :twisted:

    At this point a gruff old bloke barks something across the floor, they hurriedly laugh and stuff my gear into my bag and wave me on with a grin.

    As I walk upto the lounge Mrs WH is giving me the evil eye and I realise I have my Knife, mug, bottle of juice, a fork and my sons play dough in the bottom of my bag. Security, what security. Next year I'll wear my uniform :twisted:
  15. Fortunately Ripper quoted his original post, so everyone can see what chopper he/she is.