Airport Security - Getting Frisked

#2
Fuck off you prick. Get in line like everyone else, what made you so special?
 
#3
What a loser. You self important tool. I dont look on getting searched at the airport as a hassle - more a perk for the staff!
 
#4
Your having a laugh. That argument did not work during Op Banner, it aint going to work now.
 
#5
whippet_X said:
Call me old fashioned, but I don't see why government bods like us should get frisked at the airport. I defend the country, I don't blow it up. Sign up for this if you agree........

http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/AirSecurity/

:D
knobber get fcuking real. Cnuts like you shoud just fcuk off, you self un-important mong.
 
#6
On a similar subject, is it just me or do airport staff LOVE frisking squaddies? I always get bloody pulled aside and the following discussion takes place.

"You've got scissors and a metal object in your rucksack."

"Oh, OK."

*attendant opens bag and pulls out said items*

"What are these?"

"Scissors."

"What are they for?"

"Cutting things. You just took them out of my first aid kit."

"OK. What is this?" *Points at metal object*

"That is my thermos mug."

"What is it for?"

"Keeping my brew hot."

"Oh."

Then they always seem to take great joy in finding the tin of boot polish I forgot to take out of my daysack, brandishing it as though they have found the worlds' biggest dirty bomb and throwing it in the bin, contented that they have saved the airlines from a terrorist bombing for the day.

I know it's my own fault and cannot complain, as it needs to be done, I just find it slightly amusing and pretty much take for granted that I am going to be searched the minute I go through security.

Edited to add just in case: I am not signing that petition you f*cking self righteous mong.
 
#7
Belt_Twit said:
"OK. What is this?" *Points at metal object*

"That is my thermos mug."

"What is it for?"

"Keeping my brew hot."

"Oh."
I was taken to the 'special room' at Kyanthos airport for that!
 
#9
Why shouldnt we get frisked? Because we're in the army does that make us above the law/security of others?
Anyway it wouldnt be the same if I didnt get touched up by some butch lesbian airport security attendant. I know it makes their day so its the least I could do.

Im glad you saw the stupidity of your post. Shame it wasnt before you started writing it.
 
#10
I quite like getting frisked, its the nearest I get to sex these days.
 
#12
Quite a few years back I'd handled the best part of 2500Kgs of commercial grade PE. Two days after doing so I was at a well known UK airport and was pulled aside for frisking, whilst being frisked they used the soda bread machine (think that's what it was called) on my bags. Much to my amazement the bloke came back and said that all was okay!!
 
#13
heard_it_all_before said:
Quite a few years back I'd handled the best part of 2500Kgs of commercial grade PE. Two days after doing so I was at a well known UK airport and was pulled aside for frisking, whilst being frisked they used the soda bread machine (think that's what it was called) on my bags. Much to my amazement the bloke came back and said that all was okay!!
I had a similar experience after handling 500kg of ANFO. Unfortunately when I got pulled I did a 10 stretch in Long Kesh.
 
#14
Try flying in from regional France, Rather pretty French security girl with a voice off Allo Allo takes my bag with look of disgust...I know its all going to go wrong, the wife and kids are long gone through security thanks to her french upbringing and yet again I curse my not learning the lingo properly.

"Ah, What is zis?"

"Thermal mug"

"And Zis"

"Leatherman"

"What do you use zem for, I zink they must be taken?"

"Err, I'm a Soldier... :oops: err I drink with it and I use the pliers...to grab things :x " Bugger should have put them in the hold.

"Oh, really! Wow how wonderful. Ave you been to war!" She seemed to change personality and brightened right up. :wink:

"Well, you know.. 8) " I'm cut off as she calls a slightly older woman over. They babble excitedly in french,

"Do you ave a carte?" They ask.

"Err..a carte?" I ask. Worried now..

"Yes ID?" Penny drops out comes Mod90! They babble again..

"you are much younger in your photo" the young girl states with a smile.

By now I'm wondering if I'm going to make the bloody flight, although she is pretty. :twisted:

At this point a gruff old bloke barks something across the floor, they hurriedly laugh and stuff my gear into my bag and wave me on with a grin.

As I walk upto the lounge Mrs WH is giving me the evil eye and I realise I have my Knife, mug, bottle of juice, a fork and my sons play dough in the bottom of my bag. Security, what security. Next year I'll wear my uniform :twisted:
 
#15
FiveAlpha said:
whippet_X said:
Ahh right! You were so ashamed of your opening bone post that you edited it! Spineless AND a tool - an interesting combination!
Fortunately Ripper quoted his original post, so everyone can see what chopper he/she is.
 
#16
dingerr said:
FiveAlpha said:
whippet_X said:
Ahh right! You were so ashamed of your opening bone post that you edited it! Spineless AND a tool - an interesting combination!
Fortunately Ripper quoted his original post, so everyone can see what chopper he/she is.
Seen! Forgive me, I have a gobbet of sperm in my eye.
 
#17
heard_it_all_before said:
Quite a few years back I'd handled the best part of 2500Kgs of commercial grade PE. Two days after doing so I was at a well known UK airport and was pulled aside for frisking, whilst being frisked they used the soda bread machine (think that's what it was called) on my bags. Much to my amazement the bloke came back and said that all was okay!!
FFS when you are bullshiting at least try and make it credible :roll:
 
#18
Had to laugh at a gaggle of security staff opening a chaps suit carrier and getting a bit excited at the long pin on his miniature medals, inlcuding a BEM I think, attached to his mess kit!

On a similar vein once or twice a supervisor has been called as my emergency old compo bottle/can opener starts ringing alarm bells when discovered in my wallet! So far the supervisors see sense/ squaddie and after a look at mod 90 release me!

As for my dive knife, well they let me post it back to myself!

No point in getting anti if they are just doing their job, now when the RAF police get all excited about stuff at Brize, mmmmm - on a break from their "barrier up/barrier down" job they get very silly!
 
#19
Back in about '93/'94 I had spent a while doing professional deerstalking -as such it was SOP to carry a few spare rounds in a pouch on your belt for "finishing one off" just in case.

Had to travel down and visit my S.O for Xmas who was with her folks in the channel islands - so, as you do, your kit goes into your bag, you jump on the train, arrive at Southampton airport, hand over your bag and go and wait in the departure lounge.

Cue a call over the tannoy - can Mr Labrat please come to the security desk! amble along to find some security officers and police officers there, as I'm invited into a little room for a chat...

Well, you can guess what they had picked up on the Xray machine, three rounds of live .243 win - Result being a very humble mucho apology from me, quick phone call to check my FAC and rounds signed over for disposal by police!

allowed to carry on my trip with a red face - I suspect that nowadays it would have been an orange boiler suit and off to Cuba!
 
#20
Cpl_ripper said:
whippet_X said:
Call me old fashioned, but I don't see why government bods like us should get frisked at the airport. I defend the country, I don't blow it up. Sign up for this if you agree........

http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/AirSecurity/

:D
knobber get fcuking real. Cnuts like you shoud just fcuk off, you self un-important mong.
This petition states:
However, many thousands of people passing through UK airport security are already security-cleared by the British government and are (one assumes) of no threat to air security.
Presumably the clown who wrote this cr@p doesn't know the differences between B/C, S/C, S/C+ and PV (DV)? And presuming that everyone who hasn't got a recent criminal record (which is just about all that B/C covers) hardly gives anyone grounds to suggest that they're beyond suspicion when it comes to making a frickin' bomb! One of the Glasgow would-be terrorists was a fricking doctor, another (7/7 bunch) was a teacher and had been cleared and CRB'd for social work.

FFS, what a perfectly bone, idiotic, crass idea. Little wonder it had only attracted 3 signatures when I checked it out (John Woolley, Philip Glover and Simon Irving). What pr@ts!

Thank you for quoting the unedited original post, Ripper :twisted:
 

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