Airport Gimps.

The_Poltroon

Clanker
For a small provincial airport Bristol is surprisingly efficient and laid back when it comes to Security checks and general fcuking people about.

The mongs who work on Security at Stansted could learn a lot about customer service from them
 
For a small provincial airport Bristol is surprisingly efficient and laid back when it comes to Security checks and general fcuking people about.

The mongs who work on Security at Stansted could learn a lot about customer service from them
Er, that’s Bristol ‘International ‘ Airport if you don’t mind.
 
Er, that’s Bristol ‘International ‘ Airport if you don’t mind.
Is that like Durham/Teeside, intergalactic space port ?
i liked it better when it was plain Middleton St George , and they only charged you £7 landing fee ( and out of hours you made your own coffee!).
 

Oyibo

LE
For a small provincial airport Bristol is surprisingly efficient and laid back when it comes to Security checks and general fcuking people about.

The mongs who work on Security at Stansted could learn a lot about customer service from them
My favourite airport in the UK - polite security checks, and very efficient.
 

Oyibo

LE
Absolutely.

It's a great place to fly in and out of.
My only better experience was landing in Exeter (very early '90s) after a Bn jump on Dartmoor was called off (probably high winds). Whizzed straight through the airport cammed and tooled up with no interference from anyone at all. Can't think why.
 
This is basically how I travel like - even if not suited.

I had 15 years travelling like that with one bag, no check-in. The only exception was when living in Nigeria where I had a BFO holdall full of fresh veg and frozen stuff going, not coming out..
You can now buy shampoo in a stick I am told, which will make travelling by air much improved.
 

Oyibo

LE
I had 15 years travelling like that with one bag, no check-in. The only exception was when living in Nigeria where I had a BFO holdall full of fresh veg and frozen stuff going, not coming out..
You can now buy shampoo in a stick I am told, which will make travelling by air much improved.
Snap.

On one trip from Jo'burg to Lagos the plane turned back due to an engine failure. At the hotel we were accommodated in by SAA I asked them to put all the meat in my baggage in a fridge overnight. They put it in a freezer where it froze in strange elongated angular shapes. Hulk Hogan would not have got it all back in the same bag the next day.
 
I get the whole security thing, with knives being taken as hand luggage for example.But it went far the other way too. I mean parents flying with their 6 month old baby and not being able to take a bottle of milk on board is extreme ( with the liquid bans). And not being able to take your bottle of pop through security seems harsh.
Sadly that event in 2001 changed the whole world, making us paranoid, which resulted in everyone being treat the same going through security. And OAPs and pompous business people shouting do I look like a terrorist doesn’t help either.
 
Snap.

On one trip from Jo'burg to Lagos the plane turned back due to an engine failure. At the hotel we were accommodated in by SAA I asked them to put all the meat in my baggage in a fridge overnight. They put it in a freezer where it froze in strange elongated angular shapes. Hulk Hogan would not have got it all back in the same bag the next day.
The funniest was watching the American rotators coming through with massive chest coolers with all their food for the next month. Only to have to pay a massive dash to the customs thieves before they could leave. I had floppy cooler bags that you could disguise squeezing into your holdall. I once lost $200 worth of steaks coming out of Atlanta for Lagos, the flight was delayed by 12 hours and the bags by 2 days. I sent my driver to collect the bag who called to say it whiffed a bit......whiffed a bit? I could smell it entering the compound!!
 
I had a strange experience at Nuremberg airport a year or so ago. I was entering the seperate part of the terminal they use for flights to Tel Aviv. Since my flight was the only one it really was quiet. After I put my backpack on the x-ray conveyor, the security checker noticed there was water in my Camelbak water bottle - too late I realised that I had forgotten to empty it before entering the terminal. I opened it and approached the rubbish bin off to the side, intending to pour out the contents. "Nein nein, Drink it!" she commanded me. Feeling like we were in a scene from Colditz I obediently swigged the water down to the last drop - it seemed preferable to having my bottle confiscated or being thrown into a punishment cell.
 

Oyibo

LE
The funniest was watching the American rotators coming through with massive chest coolers with all their food for the next month. Only to have to pay a massive dash to the customs thieves before they could leave. I had floppy cooler bags that you could disguise squeezing into your holdall. I once lost $200 worth of steaks coming out of Atlanta for Lagos, the flight was delayed by 12 hours and the bags by 2 days. I sent my driver to collect the bag who called to say it whiffed a bit......whiffed a bit? I could smell it entering the compound!!
Same same. MI5 suspicious death bag for me and my, err, meat.

1573938656898.png


I did, for a couple of years fly with exceptionally heavy cabin baggage only en-route to Lagos. On one flight from Jo'burg SAA had some very Aryan-looking saffas hoying all the Nigerian big-bags into the hold before they could get their barrage balloon sized bags into the cabin. I rocked up with my P-Company weight cabin bag full of RSA's finest meat and was mysteriously waved through by a blonde-haired-blue-eyed boy.
 
I get the whole security thing, with knives being taken as hand luggage for example.But it went far the other way too. I mean parents flying with their 6 month old baby and not being able to take a bottle of milk on board is extreme ( with the liquid bans). And not being able to take your bottle of pop through security seems harsh.
Sadly that event in 2001 changed the whole world, making us paranoid, which resulted in everyone being treat the same going through security. And OAPs and pompous business people shouting do I look like a terrorist doesn’t help either.
I don't know where you picked that gem up from but all the frequent business flyers I know never complain because they have seen the results of belligerent security staff and gobby travelers.
 
Last edited:
Same same. MI5 suspicious death bag for me and my, err, meat.

View attachment 430616

I did, for a couple of years fly with exceptionally heavy cabin baggage only en-route to Lagos. On one flight from Jo'burg SAA had some very Aryan-looking saffas hoying all the Nigerian big-bags into the hold before they could get their barrage balloon sized bags into the cabin. I rocked up with my P-Company weight cabin bag full of RSA's finest meat and was mysteriously waved through by a blonde-haired-blue-eyed boy.
Tomorrow now belongs to you.
 

Oyibo

LE
Yeah of course you do.

Good luck with that if you want to travel with any toiletries or a Swiss Army knife.
Traveling pretty much every other week in and out for work for biz does teach you a few things in efficiency. And most of mine was short haul, so no toiletries needed as the hotel provided them.

And yes, I lost a swiss knife or two accidentally left in the backpack.

Long haul is a different matter with regard to security and liquids.
 

Latest Threads

Top