Air Travel Tits

#1
Having just returned from hols, there's some gripes to get off my chest.

Number one is the ruck caused by flapping passengers when the boarding gate opens. Blind panic that they got to be first to get on in case there's no seats left !

Number two is the same flap merchants who click open the seat belt as the wheels touch down on arrival. They don't want to be delayed off the plane, so need to stand up and elbow every **** out the way to get to the overhead locker.

And the very best, is the ********* who race to baggage reclaim, and stand shoulder to shoulder at the carousel, giving themselves a quality view of all the luggage, but leaving no room for everybody else to lift their bag off !

I take great delight in reaching between the smallest gap at the carousel, grabbing my case, and just hauling the ****** back through the cnuts !

Rant over. And relax.

That's better.
 

ugly

LE
Moderator
#3
Most of that still applies regardless of class of ticket, its class of passenger that counts. I hate flying as a mode of transport. Big airports are shitholes full of odd feckers in make up and women in orange tans.
I used to fly weekly gatwick to Manchester but found I could go by train for a 3rd of the price costing me 2 hours extra in total but all of it spent travelling not checking in. I made up the time by working on the train and also by staying late midweek.
Flying is awful, the whole airport experience doesnt get any better!
 
#4
Aye,I've experienced this phenomenon myself a few times. You get similar behaviour on trains too.
I can't remember where I read it-I think it was a Met Police doc, all about the collective psychology in crowd behaviour. It was mostly aimed at demos/sporting events. The bloke who wrote it reckoned crowds take on there own collective thought and follow predictable patterns of behaviour-even though individual members are acting independently of each other. He reckoned large accidents happened because of this.
Sheep!
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
#5
i'm not a massive fan as its as camp a row of pink tents but the new series called 'Come Fly With Me' is quite funny - mocks the airline experience and the people who screw the service provision up!
It's excellent and I love the black lady who works in the coffee shop/slot machines - Praise the Lord.
 
#6
Agree with everything X59 and others have said. Regardless of travel class, there are always going to be the ignorant and DYKWIAs who simply have to be at the forefront of waiting for the next long wait at disembarking, immigration and baggage reclaim. These aspects are regularly discussed at FlyerTalk Forums

Flying in Club with BA offers a little protection from the worst behaviour of the chavvy, ignorant peasantry ... you get a better class of peasant, for a start. However, the DYKWIA with his laptop and carry-on remains an obstacle to civilised progress.
 

Travelgall

LE
Kit Reviewer
#7
Number one is the ruck caused by flapping passengers when the boarding gate opens. Blind panic that they got to be first to get on in case there's no seats left !

Number two is the same flap merchants who click open the seat belt as the wheels touch down on arrival. They don't want to be delayed off the plane, so need to stand up and elbow every **** out the way to get to the overhead locker.
Number one is self inflicted by flying Easyjet or Ryanair or any other refugee airline. Sure people still rush to get on with BA/Lufthansa/American airlines etc. But you can sit there reading the paper and be last on board, safe in the knowledge than other than stuffing your bags in a different overhead locker you don't have a seat next to the Khazis.

Number two is just common sense. Sorry. If you're ******* about with your hand luggage "OOH look we've landed, now what do I do next?", stopping me from clearing customs asap, and getting that sweet sweet hit of nicotine you are going to get shoulder barged. You need to sort your admin skills out and not have to repack your hand luggage when you get off the plane. I have a mate who sounds like you. Bit of a space cadet. I cleared Customs and immigration 2 1/2 hours before him one time (Bali Bomb went off hence the queue) and he was sat right next to me. So whilst I got a couple of beers in, he was fannying around in a dream world waiting in the passport queue. Moral of the story, if you want to mong it, sit right at the back of the plane and then you won't get footprints all the way down your back.
 
#11
As a regular traveller by air, usually Luftwaffe or some unheard of African airline, I see all of the above behavior and have even been guilty of some selfish actions myself but there are many more fuckwit actions than those.
My pet hate is the twat who shuffles along to the security gate, fully dressed until they get to the belt then take an age to disrobe and fish their laptop out then spend 10 minutes emptying their pockets of loose change. *******.
Then there's the halfwit that decides your carryon is less important than his and picks it out of the locker and moves it further down the aircraft.......or the same bloke that decides that ramming his bag into the locker on top of yours is the only solution. A loud, what the fcuk do you think you are doing, usually rectifies the situation, and thats in business class..
I can understand the rush from cattle class to get on first as the airlines don't routinely police what pax should bring on. Anyone travelled on a flight to Nigeria will understand what I mean as they usually take more carryon than i have checked in!
 

Travelgall

LE
Kit Reviewer
#12
My pet hate is the twat who shuffles along to the security gate, fully dressed until they get to the belt then take an age to disrobe and fish their laptop out then spend 10 minutes emptying their pockets of loose change. *******.
In the words of the Churchill Dog - Oh yes! It seems X59 wants an airport to be a haven of peace and tranquility with everybody on some hippie trippie "in your own time" higher plane. I just want people to engage their brains and carry out concurrent activity so everybody can get in and out of the place as soon as possible. The retards who fail to pre-empt the security checks make my dick itch, ditto mongs who pack ever piece of their hand luggage in the isle after we land because they're to stupid not to get things out as they need them, and don't repack their bag when the pilot gives you the "1/2 hour to landing, go have a wee wee" speech.
 
#13
I don't have this problem, wheeled on first, made comfy and fussed over by the flight attendants. If I need the loo they shut all the curtains and stag on whilst I use a normal trap, I'm last off the aircraft and someone is often waiting with my baggage.

Simple, just get yourself a wheelchair.
 

ugly

LE
Moderator
#14
I don't have this problem, wheeled on first, made comfy and fussed over by the flight attendants. If I need the loo they shut all the curtains and stag on whilst I use a normal trap, I'm last off the aircraft and someone is often waiting with my baggage.

Simple, just get yourself a wheelchair.
Well I heard they were expensive, an arm and a leg at least!
 

Travelgall

LE
Kit Reviewer
#15
I don't have this problem, wheeled on first, made comfy and fussed over by the flight attendants. If I need the loo they shut all the curtains and stag on whilst I use a normal trap, I'm last off the aircraft and someone is often waiting with my baggage.

Simple, just get yourself a wheelchair.
Rather not go through what you did to get off the plane first. You deserve it.
 
#16
Or the geezer next to you in an economy seat who decides now is a good time to read his broadsheet paper opened to two pages.....(its alright mate, I didnt want to read anything. I hope you enjoyed your bogie flavoured beer when you got back from taking a leak)
 
#17
Number one is self inflicted by flying Easyjet or Ryanair or any other refugee airline. Sure people still rush to get on with BA/Lufthansa/American airlines etc. But you can sit there reading the paper and be last on board, safe in the knowledge than other than stuffing your bags in a different overhead locker you don't have a seat next to the Khazis.

Number two is just common sense. Sorry. If you're ******* about with your hand luggage "OOH look we've landed, now what do I do next?", stopping me from clearing customs asap, and getting that sweet sweet hit of nicotine you are going to get shoulder barged. You need to sort your admin skills out and not have to repack your hand luggage when you get off the plane. I have a mate who sounds like you. Bit of a space cadet. I cleared Customs and immigration 2 1/2 hours before him one time (Bali Bomb went off hence the queue) and he was sat right next to me. So whilst I got a couple of beers in, he was fannying around in a dream world waiting in the passport queue. Moral of the story, if you want to mong it, sit right at the back of the plane and then you won't get footprints all the way down your back.
Sorry you misunderstood my rant TG, i'll type the clarification a litle slower.

Although I do indeed observe ALL the helpful top tips you offer, it still grips my shit when I read my magazine, waiting to embark/disembark last, and casually WATCH said fuckwits.
 
#18
You do sometimes have to rush to catch a connecting flight and need to get off sharpish. Tell me, do you travel by air often?
 

Travelgall

LE
Kit Reviewer
#19
Sorry you misunderstood my rant TG, i'll type the clarification a litle slower.

Although I do indeed observe ALL the helpful top tips you offer, it still grips my shit when I read my magazine, waiting to embark/disembark last, and casually WATCH said fuckwits.
Try a broadsheet and hold it up higher (making sure you're not sat next to Northern Biff). Then you won't see. Alternatively use the eye shades you get for free.
 
#20
Try a broadsheet and hold it up higher (making sure you're not sat next to Northern Biff). Then you won't see. Alternatively use the eye shades you get for free.
I've tried the broadsheets, but to be honest they bunch up under my building ******* rage !

Sorry. Must chill.
 

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