Air India.....

Makes it easier to throw off the salad dodging public when they can't point to a 100kg monster hostie "slinking" down the aisle...
Is this a case of Lardism?
“It's ridiculous: weight is not an infectious disease.”

Really? It looks like there's a fcuking epidemic round my way.

Fat cnuts should be allowed on planes, so they can be thrown off mid-flight.
Midflight, yes, but what about the problems of takeoff ? This is a subject which has disturbed my troubled mind for a bit. Seat size. As the population becomes increasingly slobbish and gross, airlines persist in having as small seats as possible, so that a creature who would normally take up the place of 3 normal , fit humans is stuffed into something which for them represents a baby's high chair. Fair enough if there are only one or two of them on a flight, but I can see horrors ahead. Imagine an Airbus 380, already an aerodynamically and weight/balance challenged machine, with a slob on every seat actually managing to clear the perimeter fence? At Luton, it would surely put an end to car manufacturing in the UK.
Oh, that's an easy solution. You fill the entire aircraft with the overweight and make sure the flight-path starts out over the sea.

Just think of the money that'd be saved, what with not having to fill the tanks or anything.
That's why The Good Lord (in conjunction with Her Majesty, the Queen) invented JATO.
Anyone seen the tottie in the new Virgin advert? :D


War Hero
scrofula said:
Call me thick, but what is JATO?

Japanese Airhostesses Take Oral?

JATO = Jet Assisted Take-Off

RATO is faster....

Back to original post...

Well they charge passengers for excess baggage........

Just for you, Scrof.


Edited to add: I like your suggestion better though. Have you been in touch with Nippon Air, yet?
Beaut, Carrots! Thanks!

PS, I'm still working out how it doesn't burn the tailplane off on climb, but then again I'm about 6 pilseners in by now!


Lots of airlines have height/weight guidelines for their hosties, usually couched in some ealfinsafety "as a safety professional you need to be able to respond to an emergency" doublespeak.

Part of my job used to be to teach the brand new hosties first aid (Expose the chest, form a good seal with your mouth etc... fnar fnar) and while they all looked pretty damn good at first, when they came back a year later for their refresher it was horrifying to see the excess baggage many had picked up from scoffing all the airline food. Many a pert arrse has been ruined by luke warm chicken parmiganas.
This is a skill, a definite skill. Eyeing up a totty and weighing up, as it were, what she might look like ten years hence. Expert I am, in view of the ex, still shagworthy even though now 43, and no, before anyone asks, no pics!!!!

New Posts

Latest Threads