Ah, Valentines Day....what a RIP!!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Goatman, Feb 13, 2006.

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  1. Goatman

    Goatman LE Book Reviewer

    here y'go...specially for Door Bundle and Gado....hearts and flowers anyone?

    Courtesy of Su&Nick(Disillusioned of Barnstaple) Inc


    I reckon the greeting Card industry should have a whip round for Samaritans at this time of year.....

    Le Chevre
  2. not quite a romantic then........................
  3. Roses are red violets are blue
    Your sister takes up the arse so why dont you
  4. Goatman

    Goatman LE Book Reviewer

    ah Queen of my Heart, how you misjudge me.....this dit was sent to me by a mate who's already through his divorce and come out the other side, just about still smiling.....I'm so romantic I've been out to buy not one but TWO icky squishy-uv woo cards AND some flahrs.....

    [ Cue Genie in Aladdin : Ah....c'est l'amour....] :lol:
  5. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...
    Cuts is big on torture and can make it last for days...

    Love is a many splendoured thing. It’s the April rose that only grows, In the early Spring.
    Love is a very battered ring. It's the only love that GB knows, but botty love can sting!

    O my luve's like a red, red rose. That's newly sprung in June;
    Door Bundle shows true love, when he cuts hearts out with a spoon.

    If thou must love me, let it be for nought,
    “Mmmmm, necrophilia!” thinks MDN “Hope I don't get caught!”

    Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me, Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee;
    Ballad of Flasheart and loopy BB, love and obsession and a boiling bunny...

    Apologies to those classical poets whose work I've corrupted!
  6. Goatman

    Goatman LE Book Reviewer

    hee hee Top shot deeBee :lol: ....
  7. Just spent 10 quid on flowers whilst my mate stood next to me in the tiny florists shop making loud comments about the cost of the expensive bouquets hehe - 10 quid! ! :(
  8. I buy her wine or champers, so I can booze it aswel
  9. £3.25 !!!!!! yes three hundred & twenty five pennys !!!!! for a poxy card. That is about the price of a pint of wifebeater. She best be fcukin gratfull. I refuse to buy flowers at any time of the year so she,s not geting any of them tommorow. I,ll buy her a cheap bottle of fizzy plonk instead. She,s not that fussy mind as last year I bought her a new set of spark plugs for my Jag & still got laid !!!

    Regards LT.
  10. Wrote this the other day cos a mate suggested it, took me 10 minutes!!!

    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    Take off your pants,
    I want to *marry* you.

    You have a nice body,
    You have a great mind,
    Please let me,
    Take you from behind.

    P*nis and willy,
    You like to mock,
    But really I know,
    You like to suck co-ck.

    Anal is fine,
    From behind,
    Never have I tried,
    Anal from beside.

    Remember schooldays,
    Behind the bike shed,
    Young, foolish, 13,
    You, giving me head.

    Now I must bring this,
    Crap to a close,
    When you walk in,
    Off come the clothes.
  11. Life without you Darling, would be life spent in a prison,
    But before you kiss the kids goodnight, please spit out the jism.
  12. LOL!! LT your other half landed on her feet when she met you eh? You old romaNtic you lol. Spark plugs!!! ha! ha!
  13. Oh yes !!! She knows the score. I do exactly what it says on the tin. Don,t get any complaints so I must be doing something right :lol: . She did have a bit of a radge on when I offered to pay for a boob job though!! I honestly thought she,d be chuffed. Women eh ???????

    Regards LT.
  14. What's the weirdest u've given or received on Valentines Day? *Prepares for incoming dodgy comments*
  15. LOL!! Brilliant!!! Ah well, in years to come LT you'll be able to look back and say thanks for the mammaries. Oh, sorry no you wont lol.

    Never received anything strange on Valentines day, sadly Rob *sulks* but for three years I received a dozen red roses on Vals day delivered to my place of work and for three years the sender never revealed himself. Until I discovered it was one of my best male friends. Bless him. Another one was every morning I would pass a bloke on the way to work and we would wish each other good morning. When Valenitnes day came round he walked passed as usual and thrust an envelope into my hand. It was a valentines card with his number in it. Fairplay to him, it took guts to do that. I didnt call him though.