Agony Uncle

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by vvaannmmaann, Jul 29, 2008.

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  1. It has come to my attention that some Arrsers appear to have some serious mental disorders,sexual fixations ( particularly anal ) and several other personality problems.
    However,I am here to help.
    The treatments that I received for my slight problem actually worked,and I feel that I should share my vast knowledge with you.
    So post your problems,I will help.Obviously this is entirely confidential,so it will go no further that the Naafi Bar.
    Please do not PM,as I find sharing problems will be of huge benefit to everyone.And it willsave me repeating my answers for all the others.
    Right,who's first? aah Biped,do start.
  2. I went a bit mental the other day at this wedding and shot the groom and his missus. I feel a bit guilty. What should I do?
  3. Bouillabaisse

    Bouillabaisse LE Book Reviewer

    Careful, you're treading on MDN's territory. He used to be Mighty Do Nut before he found religion and set himself up as a Minister.
  4. I'm finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate on my work (peddaling mobile phone porn throughout Europe) as I'm spending most of my waking hours in this NAAFI bar. Could it be I'm getting bored of Pornography? What can I do?
  5. Arby, these things happen. Just sit down, have a beer, and enjoy the rest of your holiday in Antigua :)
  6. After having sex with my sister, sloppy seconds after my dad, my winkie burns when I pee...
  7. Crabby by name, Crabby by nature! Durex......cos you don't know where she's been :)
  8. Mr D!!!Did you just come out? :wink:
  9. I am at the moment being groomed by an elderly slightly overweight and very hairy gentleman, he keeps asking me to dress as a schoolgirl. I dont have a problem with the dressing up but the cane really smarts, could you please suggest an alternative?
  10. Don't lie Mr_D - you hobbled away (I was unsure why my sister had stubble, but cracked on regardless) with blood, shyte and semen dribbling from your abused hole. Arrseholes weren't built for 8 inch c0cks
  11. Oh dear,My fantasy MAN just disapeared. :(
  12. suggest a german prison themed evening.
  13. Actually I hear the old Austrian "Lock the Girl in your Cellar" routine is the new it thing. Maybe try that?
  14. I would suggest popping round to mine for some proper treatment but I don't "co-mingle" with the natives, you're all far too unwashed with terrible teeth and no sense of grace or decency. Besides, I cant stand the smell of home stilled whisky and roll ups.
  15. flatter us. What do you mean no grace or decency? Whisky and roll ups is a big step up from our usual eau de buckie, and wee.