Against all probability.......

Following on from this dubious thread.
http://www.arrse.co.uk/Forums/viewtopic/t=128038.html

When did the improbable ever become the reality for you ??

Did you ever start the party in p*ssed jeans and a heavily vommed shirt only to find yourself still at it with a looker under a pile of coats ??

Found yourself in a town with one pub and the cast of Fraggle Rock as your hosts but ended up grabbing a cab at 6am with a sh*t eating grin on your mug and sore knees ??

My drippy hippy sister had a Kiwi mate who spent the summer over here a few years ago, her healthy middle class hatred of all things soldierly and warlike pretty much dampened any ideas I had of getting into them ripped purple jeans specifically after she tore me to bits regarding my evidently lacking moral fibre.
So it came as much as a shock to me as it was to her when she wandered back off to her liberal la la land with a healthy package in her womb from myself

 

Aren't you the dark horse! Good drills, wonder if you changed her opinion about LMF? Did she have a pet name for you, like 'Spermtrooper' for example?

 

She lovingly refers to me (in that subtle brogue of hers) "That Fackin Winker" !! I told her pulling out wasnt a dead cert !!

 

I had a friend who I'll refer to as Nicola. Nicola was a close pal of an ex-girlfriend and we hit it off well the first time we met, but solely in a good mates way as I'm the plain looking one of the Quasimodo family and Nicola's a 5'0" stunner, the most beautiful girl I know in person.

She's one of these girls who went on a gap year and never stopped travelling, so she crashes with family or friends when in the UK. She happened to be visiting with us when we split up and my all-of-a-sudden-ex moved out into another friend's down the road. There wasn't room for both, so Nicola stayed with me.

Long story short, just before she went off on her next voyage she came back from a farewell party and climbed into my bed - stone cold sober, she doesn't drink. I still get postcards from her, so it can't have been too traumatic.

 

Ah, a...Catholic. That explains it.

 

Awwww, mushy stuff. You lucky devil (eyes mist over, reminiscing)

 

I could fall into a vat full of c**t and come out sucking my thumb.

I've cracked one off in the shower that many times every time I go out in the rain now I get a stiffy.