After shag piss?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Take2, Apr 30, 2006.

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  1. Is it just me, or does anyone else ever have a very strong urge for a pi ss after dropping the harry monk, is it just natures way of cleaning out the tubes? or do I have a problem!
    As this can be a pain and quiet inapropriate at times, as often it can offend the mrs/10-2 bird in their 'after sex time!' thinking of trying to combine the two in to some sort of 'after sex water sports time'
    What do you think?

    haha you cant write p i ss as they change it to urine, come on! wonder what they change crap to?

    ah it stayed as crap
     
  2. Dear Take2. Don't worry. This is simply Mother Nature's way of sluicing one's pipe. For extra effect, try pinching your foreskin shut and filling it up like a balloon. Not only does this exercise the skin's stretchativity, it also enables the urine to swill around your Bishop's Hat - thus eliminating any problems caused by foreign objects - like sweet corn.
     
  3. i would do that. but i always have this horrid image of someone ripping their skin of the fore off. Dont know why. What would happen if you g-clamped your foreskin shut for a piss by the way? Anyone??? NAAFI game perchance?
     
  4. It never goes where you want it to either, sprays everywhere! (Wasn't this shown in a Jim Carey film? Bruce Almighty??)
     
  5. I believe the film was Me, Myself and Irene. It's not just you fella. Still anything that gives you an extra excuse to get away from the bint is a bonus anyway.
     
  6. mmm the cloudy p1ss is never a fun one and usually ends up all over the bathroom.

    Worse though is the precum p1ss....... if youve had a long period of arousement and then have to continue working etc with no release the slash afterwards always feels like you are squeezing a walnut out your 'ein augen'

    Is it because the seepage dries into a film / crust and has to be removed violently with a jet of misty wazz?

    Has anyone ever put the theory to the test that you can't slash out of a woody?
     
  7. I seem to manage it most mornings
     
  8. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    Buy a bedpan!lol
     
  9. I find I have to stand with one leg on the bath and lean slightly over the throne otherwise there is no way you can gaurantee not slashing all over the place, including getting a face full.

    Ive tried sitting to piss but your dome touches the bog wall and the splash back is just horrendous.
     
  10. To tw@t you with for making bone posts?
     
  11. Mmm tis cold here so I'm usually at semi stage before release. Any harder can get quite painful. Why is it that your perfected zeroed stream becomes something Kew Gardens would be proud of? Obstacles en route? Perhaps we could put this in the doc's bit...
     
  12. You can and at the risk of sounding like a timmy two turds or in this case a chris the wild piss (made that up myself not bad eh?)

    I Have! i may have over-cooked it slightly as the strain i had to put into getting it out, was repayed by me lagging all the way up the wall and

    onto the cat (funny but not easy to explain to the wife).
     
  13. i just p1ss in the sink, the splashback is not too bad
     
  14. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    It's worse if you have a operation on the ol' J.T like I did a couple of years ago.No sex for over a month & you pee like a fire hose!All over the place!!! Take it from me....Look after the ol banjo string!!!
     
  15. Absolutly! Stand on tip toes, bend the old chap to the horizontal position with one hand and use the other to lift the wash bowl into a possition to deflect the stream into the sink. Resting the base of the bowl on your knob works the best.

    I do apreciate some of you short arrses may be prohibited from doing this without the aid of a step up, just don't fall off the fecker.